Wednesday, June 9, 2010

How To Be Nice To Your Girlfriend And Make Her Happier

If you are wondering how to be nice to your girlfriend you have probably picked up some signs that it is not all rosy in your relationship. You must act fast as she may get fed up and decide to become your ex.

Ideally you should read a few books on relationships in order to get the full picture but I will try to give you a snapshot now. You need to treat the woman in your life with respect. If you are living together, then do not expect her to do everything around the house. Sure, she may be a better cook than you are but that doesn't mean that you can't do dinner some evenings. Or you could let her cook but be the one to set the table and tidy away afterwards.

Some men appear to have a gift for instinctively knowing how to treat a woman, for the rest of us it can be a little more complicated. At least it was until I read up on some techniques. My girlfriend was amazed. In fact it almost backfired as she thought another woman was teaching me how to behave! Not the result I was hoping for but thank goodness once I showed her my latest reading material she believed me. In fact she was very impressed I cared enough to be trying to learn new skills. Seemingly I hadn't been showing I was interested in our relationship prior to this. I thought I was doing everything right, I took her out to dinner, brought her flowers and some jewelry but according to her I had forgotten how to listen. And that is more important than my over the top gestures!

Obviously it will depend on what the situation is with your relationship. If you are asking how to be nice to your girlfriend you are obviously worried that you are missing something. Why not try sitting down with your partner and asking her how she is feeling. Ask her if she is happy or is there something wrong? Some women like gestures whereas others, like my girlfriend simply wanted my attention but to talk not to do other stuff! I found out that women like to chat even if there is nothing important to say. They actually enjoy talking to us and listening to our views so long as we also listen to them. But they hate when we try to fix every problem. Just because they tell us they are having an issue at work or with a friend, doesn't mean that they want us to solve it for them. They may just want reassurance they are handling the situation properly by themselves. They may simply be using you as a sounding board.

If you want to still be together when you are old and grey, you need to learn how to communicate properly. Then you won't be wondering how to be nice to your girlfriend.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

How Do I Get My Ex Back - Your Answer To The Question

You might have asked yourself the question “how do I get my ex back?” recently.

If you’ve asked yourself that question, the good news is that you are not alone. All over the country there are people suffering from the same condition that you are. They have been dumped by someone they love and for that reason are finding it hard to let go of that person. You might not think that you are hung up on the person, but you owe it to your own mental well being in order to make sure. There is a thin line between seeking a healthy renewal of a relationship with an ex and obsession. The moment you cross that line, you’ve taken the road to making your life miserable.

There are actually many ways for you to tell whether you are taking the road to ruin or whether you genuinely do feel that resuming things with the ex would be a healthy way to go forward. If you feel the uncontrollable urge to push the issue every time you think about it, chances are pretty good that you are taking the road to ruin. If you feel like you can bide your time and develop a friendship with your former lover before taking things back to the next level, you are in healthy mentality area. Generally speaking, your mindset and the first strategies that come to your mind will give you away.

This fits in nicely with the strategies that don’t work and the ones that do. The strategies that you’d think of when you were obsessing would mostly be strategies that had no chance of working. The strategies that you’d come up with (like going through friendship) when thinking about building healthy relationships are the ones that really have the chance of working.

Whatever you do, you do not want to rush things with your ex. If they broke up with you, they are going to need to get over the breakup before they can be coaxed back into a relationship. This is true even if you broke up with them since it is hurt rather than distaste that they need to get over. The truth of the matter is that you need to give them a lot of time and space at first, gradually closing both the time and the space as you begin to get your foot back in the door with them. It may not be pretty, but it is definitely going to be the best chance that you have.

At the start of this article, you asked a question. You asked “how do I get my ex back?” The answer is now available to you in the whole truth and nothing but the truth. If you take these methods here and apply them to your own life, you will have a better chance at getting your ex back than you would have from any other strategy you could employ. That is a fact. It is the truth without any sugar-coating.

Monday, June 7, 2010

How A Rebound Relationship Can Work

Are you worried about your new partner and whether they are committed to you? Do you wonder how a rebound relationship can work particularly if there are unresolved feelings left from the previous affair?

Often rebound relationships can be a band aid solution for the pain and hurt inflicted by the previous lover. If the person getting involved in the new relationship was the one to end the old one, I would be less worried. Usually people have been thinking of ending a relationship for ages before the event actually happens. By the time they get to finish it, they may have worked through their feelings and be ready to move on.

This doesn't apply to the person who didn’t instigate the previous breakup and becomes quickly involved in a new relationship. Some people cannot bear to be on their own so will flit from person to person in an effort to avoid dealing with the issues leading to the breakup. They are used to being part of a couple. They have an inherent need for someone to love them and need them and hence they can become deeply emotionally involved very quickly. Ironically this is often the reason for the rebound relationship breaking up as the new partner feels swapped by the level of neediness.

It is worth noting that often someone on the rebound often isn't even aware of what they are doing. They are hurting emotionally and mentally and can crave comfort from another human being. This can mean that they end up in a relationship for the sake of having somebody to hold rather than to be with that person. Their new partner can get very hurt as the realisation sets in that they aren’t loved for their individuality as much as the fact they can provide a quick fix solution to a painful situation.

It is always wise to date people who have just come out of a relationship with care. Take things slowly and try to make sure that it is you they are interested in before becoming emotionally involved. Everyone needs time on their own particularly if they come out of a long term partnership.

It is a little like grieving - there is a process that you must go through in order to emerge a stronger person at the end of it. For most people divorce and the breakup of a partnership means the end of a dream even if you were the one to instigate the break up. Everyone will have some feelings of regret if only for not having the fairytale ending.

If you do find yourself involved with someone who you suspect is on the rebound, gently advise them to spend some time on their own working through their emotions. Encourage them to date other people. Keep in contact with them if you are interested in a long term relationship. If you two are destined to be together, it will happen although maybe not right away. This is really the only way to ensure how a rebound relationship can work for you.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

How To Avoid A Long Term Relationship Breakup

Every couple experience rough patches but how can you avoid a long term relationship breakup?

We can all take our partners for granted sometimes. Life often gets in the way of your relationship and we are inclined to think our spouse will understand. But that is not always the case. Your significant other may wonder where he/she comes on your list of priorities. He or she may feel neglected and if someone else comes along that pays them some attention and makes them feel desired, who is to say that they won’t be tempted.

Why not surprise your partner and arrange a date night. If you have children, arrange a babysitter. If money is a little tight, then put the kids to bed early and cook your partner a nice dinner. Add some candles and flowers and switch off the TV. Ban all talk of your offspring, your money issues or your family. The only conversation allowed is the type you would normally have on a date night. Imagine you don’t know each other. Ask your other half to tell you something about themselves, after which you will divulge a secret.

When you have been together for a long time, it can get a little dull in the bedroom department. Being intimate is the glue that holds couples together. It is not all about sex but holding hands, cuddling and being affectionate. If you have fallen into a rut where the only intimate occasions you see are those on a TV set, you need to sort this out.

Don’t ignore it as it can lead to feelings of anxiety and despair on both sides. But you cannot pressure the other person either. So why not make it a game. Both of you have to make a list of all the things you would like to do/have done to each other. Each person gets a turn having one item on their list. She may want you to run her a nice bath and allow her to soak for an hour with only the candles for company. We can probably guess what he would like!

Rediscover the passion that brought you together in the first place. Let’s face it most couples do not get involved due to the fantastic conversation. There has to be the x factor as well. But when you have shared what seems to be a lifetime, the roaring flames of desire may now resemble a smouldering ember. But the good news is that it is easy to relight existing fires, you just need a little practice!

Couple that laugh together, share their inner most thoughts and feelings and make time for one another are the most likely to be walking hand in hand sharing their twilight years. Life is not a bed of roses but it is a lot more fun when you share it with someone you love. You should avoid that long term relationship breakup at all costs.

How Do I Get Back Together With My Ex Made Simple

If you are asking how do I get back together with my ex, you have obviously decided that it was a mistake for you to break up. Perhaps it wasn't your decision to break off with your partner. Perhaps something huge happened such as an affair or other form of cheating. Or maybe you just grew apart. But now having spent some time away from one another you have decided that they are the person for you.

The good news is that thousands of couples get back together every day so it is not some impossible fantasy that you are contemplating. It is easier to rekindle feelings with an ex-partner than to meet a new Mr or Ms Right. Now that doesn't mean you should get back together with your ex because you can't be bothered getting to know someone new and feel that your ex girlfriend or boyfriend is easier bet. You should only be getting back together if you feel that you two have something really special and worth saving.

The mistake most people make is that they try and push the other person too hard into taking them back. While I agree that you should be persuasive, you should take a subtle approach. You need to see things from your ex's point of view and try and work out how you are going to convince them that you and your relationship are worth giving another shot.

I am not saying it is going to be easy. It would be a lot easier if you don't try to do this alone. You can chose to have relationship counselling but not everyone feels comfortable discussing intimate details with a stranger. Another option is to try reading a couple of self help books. Some people find these very effective but others wish they could contact someone to ask them a question if they needed to. The good news is that there are some courses that offer you this facility as well and you can use email i.e. you do not need to meet the person who is going to help you.

Love is a very powerful emotion and sometimes it can cause us to do silly things. Now is not the time to let your jealousy or anger take over. You need to deal with these negative emotions and concentrate on the positive ones. Do not contact your ex until you are 100% sure that you can remain in control of your feelings and can be the person they want to be with. Nobody wants a jealous, angry partner. They want someone who loves them, who is confident and secure in themselves and eager to carve out a happy life together.

Show them you can be this person and you won't be asking how do I get back together with my ex for much longer. You will be celebrating your return to the happy world of couples. Go on you can do this. Start today.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Healing From A Broken Relationship

Healing from a broken relationship is a tough thing to do, but the good news is, it can be done. You just need to understand the process and allow yourself the time that you need.

One of the first things to remember is there is no time limit. It will take you as much time as it takes you, period. There is no set rule on how long it should take you, though you still should be making some forward progress after a few months. You may be a long way from being back to normal, but you should be starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

One word of caution, though: if you don't seem to be making any progress at all, you may want to hire a therapist to help you through the worst of it. Sometimes having an objective third party who can offer unbiased advice is a good way to help us jumpstart our recovery. It may even help speed the process along a little, and who wouldn't want that?

Another thing you can do to help speed things along is find yourself. This may sound like strange advice but in most relationships you will lose a little of yourself. This seems to be particularly common with women. It's easy to become a 'we' and lose a little 'me'. And a little of that isn't a bad thing, but once the relationship has ended it's time to get your 'me' back.

This process will help you heal and grow. It will remind you that there was a time when you were happy without your ex. This 'reawakening' can be a very exciting time and it can help dull at least some of the pain you're feeling since the breakup. If nothing else, it will give you something to occupy your mind with.

Spending time with family and friends will help you enormously too. Surrounding yourself with people who love you will help you stay strong. When in the midst of a bad breakup it's easy to forget that you will be happy again. It can be hard to see past that black hole, but if you're with your family and friends they will help you feel the love that you are missing from your ex.

While this isn't the time to wallow, it might not be a bad idea to remind yourself of the things in the relationship that made you unhappy, or mad, or both. You don't want to dwell on the relationship too much at this point but reminding yourself of the bad times might help you gain a little clarity and move the healing process along a little bit.

No matter how you choose to go about it, just remember that healing from a broken relationship is possible. You will get through it and you will find love and happiness again. If you learn from your past relationship you can take that knowledge with you into your next relationship which will help make that relationship even better. Just hang in there.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Love Me Even If Ive Cheated

Are you asking yourself "How can I get my girlfriend to love me again. . ." after you've cheated? If so, you've probably already tried everything you can think of. You've told her it didn't mean anything, you've apologized over and over again and said you'd never do it again, you've begged on your hands and knees for forgiveness. But that didn't work and you're back to square one.

You need to be careful when you're trying to win your girlfriend back under any circumstances. . .but especially if you've cheated. You do want her back desperately and would do anything to change what you did but it won't be in your advantage to appear desperate. That would only contribute to the many reasons she has for not accepting you back right now. But how can you show her how sorry you are then?

One of the best strategies in regaining your girlfriend's heart is to write her a letter. Tell her that you agree with her decision to take some time. Tell her that she's exactly right, the two of you should really be going your own separate ways. Tell her that you've seen the end coming for quite a while now. After that, write a short apology. Tell her how very sorry you are for cheating on her. Agree that it showed a tremendous lack of respect towards her and once again convey how you really regret having done it. And finally, reveal that something really wonderful as happened in your life and you'd like to tell her about it whenever you can. Sign off in a neutral way and you've created the letter.

Whether you've realized it or not, sending a letter that contains those concepts is an extremely effective way to get your girlfriend's "love blood" flowing again. You're showing in a very classy way that you know what you've done and understand how it has hurt her and, at the same time, you're showing her that you're not completely devastated and mucking around in self-hate and pity. ..you're ready to start anew. It's very likely when your girlfriend reads the letter that she will contact you soon afterwards and you won't be in the position of begging for her time and forgiveness anymore.

This is just the first step in winning your girlfriend's heart back and you will definitely need to be ready when she gets back in touch with you after reading your letter. While you're waiting for her answer, make sure you take care of yourself, go out with friends and keep yourself busy - concentrate on being positive and upbeat. You want to be in the right state of mind when your girlfriend gets back to you. Don't hang around the phone and mope when you haven't heard anything yet.

Give it time. And play it cool when she does get in touch with you. Hopefully this has helped you with the first step in your question of "How can I get my girlfriend to love me again. . .even after I've cheated."