How Do I Get Back Together With My Ex Girlfriend

This is the question my husband’s brother asked me the other day. Why did you break up was my response when really what I wanted to ask was how could you be such a donut to dump her?

He looked a bit sheepish and told me that he had met this girl at work and she smiled at him. Seemingly she is young, very pretty and looks rather like she belongs in Baywatch. So he, being a he-man type, decided that he had to dump his lovely girlfriend to date this beach babe. Needless to say, he soon found out that she had been smiling at his mate and looked on him like he was something on her shoe.

Well he deserved that but I believe he had ditched his girlfriend for a less obvious reason. He loves her and was scared of making a commitment to her. He had started thinking about settling down and having kids and nobody had made him feel this way before. But he was worried that being a career girl, this was not the future she had planned.

Unfortunately he is not very good at expressing his feelings so decided that it was better to finish the relationship rather than try to find out if his partner shared his vision of the future. Doh!

Honestly, how can someone so intelligent on a professional level be so emotionally backward. Anyhow his ex partner is a lovely lady who, God love her, adores him so I knew that getting back with his ex girlfriend was possible. It was also a great idea as despite his obvious faults, they make a great couple and he does love her.

So I told him to write her a letter. He decided an email would do but I insisted it had to be a letter. A hand written letter is such an old fashioned way of courting someone that it almost always guarantees a positive response. So off he went to buy some paper and a pen and as I thought complete the task at hand.

And then he was back. “But what do I write?” He asked. Seriously he would have let me write the whole thing for him. So I told him to tell her how he felt. An MBA from Harvard and he is looking at me like I advised him to pull out his finger nails. I said “Tell her you love her and that you are very sorry for the way you behaved and that you would like to take her out this Friday to her favourite restaurant”.

Believe me that this approach works much better than a text, a bunch of roses and a takeaway. Thankfully his partner knows him well and saw the funny side, and my brother in law is no longer asking "how to get back together with my ex-girlfriend".

His new question is what to say to his future father in law when he pops the question but I will leave my hubby to deal with that one!

How Get Your Ex Back Let Her Make The First Move

Do you wonder how get your ex back? So did Sean O’Casey. His girlfriend had stormed out one day and said “I don’t ever want to see you again. Sean was devastated to say the least. He was desperate and wanted to know how get your ex back.

The first thing Sean needs to realize is that his ex, Therese, needs some space. She was obviously stressed and / or angry about something and she needs to recoup.

The last thing Therese needs is for Sean to jump in and start calling, texting, and emailing her. She doesn’t need flowers or love letters. These are all things not to do when you wonder how get your ex back.

Instead, he should wait for Therese to call him. She will have to contact him eventually, if only to arrange to pick up the things she has at his house. She is also going to want closure on the situation.

At this point, Sean needs to be ready to make his move. He needs to be open to discussing the problems that their relationship was going through and admit his role in them. He also needs to confront Therese on the things she was doing that caused challenges in their partnership.

Sean and Therese need to have a long heart to heart talk. But, Therese needs to initiate the contact.

When someone has just walked out of your life, you may feel a need to grab them back. This is the wrong tactic.

There was obviously a problem that needed a grand gesture on your ex’s part. Once he or she gets that out of their system, you are ready to make progress on the problem.

But, if you crowd your ex, you tell him or her that you are desperate for their love. You let them know that they are completely calling the shots. When you give in this way, you are actually pushing them away.

If you are wondering how get ex back, you should start by giving him or her the space needed to get some perspective on the relationship. If you don’t, you will drive them even further away.

Your ex is obviously attracted to you. He or she would have left quietly if they just wanted to move on. The good news is that the grand gesture or dramatics lets you know that they still have a considerable amount of emotional energy invested in the relationship.

But, don’t squander that emotional energy by pursuing them prematurely. Let your ex settle down and get some perspective. Only then will you be able to solve the problems in your relationship.

Sean was patient and waited for Therese to call him. When she did, she was somewhat embarrassed about how she had left things. When Sean suggested they meet for coffee and talk about things, she readily agreed. Therese wanted to get their relationship back on track, and the way Therese handled things allowed her to have the space she needed to do so.

And, that is how get your ex back.

How To Heal A Broken Relationship

Healing a broken relationship isn't hopeless, but it will be a challenge. How much of a challenge will depend on many things.

One of the first things that will factor into how you should go about fixing your relationship is why the relationship is in trouble in the first place. Is your relationship broken because of infidelity? If so, was it you or your partner that cheated? This type of relationship can be fixed but it is the hardest thing to overcome and both partners have to be willing to work very hard to make things right.

With infidelity it would seem like the partner who cheated would have to do all the work, but that isn't really the case. The truth of the matter is that it will take just as much work for the person who was cheated on to try to overcome their fear of being hurt again, their mistrust of their partner, as well as their anger and desire for revenge.

If your relationship has broken down more gradually over time, this might be a little easier to mend. Of course, it will still take time and work and you both will need to be 100% committed to working on it. Many relationships in this category die like a plant in a garden, from lack of nurturing. It's not usually a big thing that ends it but rather a series of small, seemingly unimportant, things that will weaken the relationship to the point where it will break very easily.

This type of relationship will take an honest assessment of what each of you has done, or not done, to weaken the relationship. Once you've both admitted the part you've played in the breakdown of the relationship, at least to yourself, it's time to sit down with your partner and honestly discuss what went wrong, what you think needs to be done to make it right, as well as what you personally are willing do to fix the relationship.

This part of the process will be very difficult and will often lead to some horrendous fights. Why? Because this is the part where you will have to listen to your partner tell you why they aren't happy with you. This won't be easy for you to hear. And the same goes for your partner when it's your turn to talk. Very often one partner won't be able to deal with what they perceive as criticism when their partner is trying to explain why they aren't happy. Once that happens it will often end up in a screaming match and nothing will get accomplished.

This is the point where you, and your partner, will need to grow up. If neither one of you is able to calmly listen to your partner while they try to explain what has made them unhappy in the relationship you won't have any chance at all of working things out.

Healing a broken relationship isn't impossible, but it will take work. If you or your partner aren't able to be mature and able to face your faults and be willing to work on changing them then you will have a much harder time of fixing your relationship.