Saturday, April 2, 2011

Can I Get My Ex To Love Me Again - 4 People To Ask

"Can I get my ex to love me again?" It can be difficult to get over a relationship that has ended. While it is difficult for those who have ended the relationship, it is even more difficult for those who did not want to see the relationship come to an end. The love is still there for that person, and they constantly question whether or not the love could still be there for the other party.

Those who still feel love toward the ended relationship will often wonder, "can I get my ex to love me again", as the true feelings of their ex may be unknown. This question can be incredibly difficult to answer without the right frame of mind. If you want to know whether or not you can get your ex to love you again you need to understand the situation. While you may not want to talk to your ex about the possibility of reconciliation, there are four groups of people that you should talk to.

Your Friends and Family

If you want to get your ex to love you again you need to talk to your friends and family. They will be able to give you the encouragement that you need to be successful. This process can be emotionally straining and draining; your support system will help you to get through it.

Your Closest Ex

If you are close to one of your exes talk to them about your actions in your relationship with them. They may be able to highlight the things that turned them off, helping you to make the changes that you need to make to win your latest ex back.

His Friends

If you are close to any of your ex's friends you should talk to them about your desire to win your ex back. They may want the two of you to get back together and may be willing to help you out by talking to him about the situation.

His Family

The same can be said for any family members that you are close to. They may want to see the two of you back together and may be willing to help you out.

If you want to win your ex back you need to understand how they feel. The best way to gauge the situation is to talk to the people that know them best. With that being said, you also need to understand how you should approach the situation. You need to talk to the people who know you best to understand what you may have done to cause the end of the relationship, and what you need to change in order to get them back into your arms. If you are asking yourself, "can I get my ex to love me again", you need to talk to these four groups of people.

Friday, April 1, 2011

4 Simple Ways Of Easing The Pain Of A Breakup

"There are plenty of fish in the sea."

Why does it seem that everybody feels the need to share that old saying with you after you have ended a relationship? I know it's their way of easing the pain of a breakup and while it may be true, it never has the desired effect. The good news is that there are some things you can do to start feeling better and move on with your life.

Let's face the facts. After a split, feelings get hurt, tears flow, anger surges and the thought of ever loving again seems like a remote possibility. I mention this because it's important to know that the ebb and flow of feelings after breaking up are normal.

Apart from time, the only thing that will heal the hurt is accepting things for what they are. Once you can do this, easing the pain of a breakup becomes nearly automatic. However, it may take a while before you get to that stage. Here are a few things you can do to feel better in the meantime.

Get out: Hiding yourself away is detrimental to the healing process. Go ahead and take a little time to be alone, but don't overdo it. Get out of the house as soon as you can and re-discover the things life has to offer. In the beginning it's a good idea to avoid the old haunts you used to frequent with your ex. Other than that, have a ball!

Stay busy: While you shouldn't try to completely ignore what you are going through, it's also not a good idea to dwell on it. Participate in positive or productive activities to give your heart and mind a rest. Clean the house, play games, go to the gym, or anything else that requires movement and some level of thought.

Laugh: It may seem impossible, you may even feel guilty about it, but go ahead and laugh. It is believed that laughter releases certain "feel good" chemicals in the brain. The more you laugh, the better you will feel. Easing the pain of a breakup is never a simple thing to do, but if you can smile and laugh you are well on the way to better days.

Seek help: What if everything you do to feel better just doesn't seem to work? When this happens get help from a qualified therapist, counselor or psychiatrist. They are there to help. More importantly, they are trained to do one thing better than the average person. What is that thing? Listening. Sometimes having a non-judgmental ear is all you need to start moving on.

Nobody likes to part ways with someone that's close to them. Even if you knew things were getting worse for quite some time, the actual split can be difficult to handle. There is nothing wrong with feeling down, but only to a certain degree. At some point you have to be proactive in easing the pain of a breakup. Using the simple ways mentioned above will get you feeling better much sooner.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

6 Tips For Getting An Ex Back Who Has A Boyfriend

When some people try to get their ex back, they find that their ex has moved on. Many will simply give up, as they feel that the new boyfriend has taken their place. Others know that they may still have a shot, and will attempt to win their significant other back.

If your ex has a boyfriend, and you want to get your ex back, there are a few tips that you must follow. These 6 tips for getting an ex back who has a boyfriend will show you how to respectfully approach the situation, and will give you the best chance at getting back together.

Talk to their Friends

If you are trying to get back with someone that has a boyfriend, talk to their friends about their relationship. Their friends will be able to give you all of the inside information that you will not be able to get from your ex. They can help to point out what your ex does not like about their boyfriend, and what they may miss about you.

Know your Limits You need to know your limits if you are trying to win someone back that has already moved on. You need to show respect for the person that is dating your ex. The more respectful you are about the situation, the less of a hit your reputation will take.

Talk to Them About their Situation

Eventually, you need to talk to your ex about their relationship, and about your feelings. You need to be completely open and honest about how you feel. This honesty may help to push them to consider the idea of getting back together.

Set Boundaries

If your ex is considering a reconciliation, you need to set some boundaries. You should not have a romantic relationship with your ex until they leave their boyfriend. There should be no sex, no kissing, no anything, until the boyfriend is out of the picture.

Avoid the New Boyfriend

While you may be respectful of the boyfriend, it does not mean that you need to be seen by the boyfriend. If possible, avoid the boyfriend at all costs. Any confrontation with him will ruin your chances of getting back together with your ex.

Make the Move

Finally, you need to make a final move for the situation. This does not mean that you need to make a sexual advance. It simply means that you need to ask your ex to make a final decision about their situation.

Some will question the integrity of going after someone who has a boyfriend. Take your own morals, and the seriousness of the situation into consideration. If you have respectful boundaries during the entire process, you can easily prove that you have respect for the situation. If your ex decides to get back with you, you can know that you did nothing wrong.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Can I Get My Girlfriend Back - Yes - Possibly

The answer to the question 'can i get my girlfriend back?' is yes... probably. You see if your girl still loves you, no matter how much you've messed up in the past, she will more than likely be receptive to you if you can prove to her that she won't be wasting her time and that she won't get hurt again. No one wants to be hurt and no one wants to set themselves up to be hurt by trusting someone who has already proven they can't be trusted. For this reason you will probably be able to win her back but you had better expect an uphill climb.

The first step is to give her a little time and space. Don't rush her or expect everything to happen quickly. It takes a lot longer to rebuild trust than it took to tear it apart. More than likely by the time you've gotten to this point you've let her down more than once. Please don't think that all that past hurt and all those mistakes will go away and she'll forget about them just because you say 'I'm sorry' or you tell her that 'I've changed'. She'll probably need to see some proof that that is true.

It's important for you to concentrate on yourself instead of just trying to convince her you've changed. It will take you time to truly change the person that you are and you don't want to make the mistake of thinking you can somehow 'trick' her into believing you are a different man.

It's true, you may be able to but what will that accomplish? Eventually she'll just see that you've lied to her... again and she'll just leave you all over again. Eventually she won't fall for it and the two of you will truly be done. Much better to actually make the changes and make them permanently. It will not only give you the answer to the question 'can i get my girlfriend back' it will also help you to keep the relationship strong and just make you a better man overall.

Depending on how much time has passed since the two of you broke up, you may want to start all over with her. Pretend like the two of you are just getting to know each other. Take it very slow. The worst thing you can do at that point is to try and talk her into trusting you again. This is just more lip service. Instead try to spend time with her, just as a friend, and let her see that you've really changed. When she sees it with her own eyes it's much more likely that she'll learn to trust you again.

Remember, if you want to know 'can i get my girlfriend back?' the answer really lies mostly with you. Love doesn't die that easily so unless you really treated her badly it's very likely that she still cares for you. It's up to you to prove to her that she's not a fool for it.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Are Your Contemplating Divorce - A Marriage Counsellor Can Help Save Your Marriage

If you are thinking that your marriage is in trouble and it’s time for a divorce, perhaps a marriage counsellor can help. There are many marriage counsellors who specialize in just that – helping people like you to save their marriage. But how do you know if a marriage counsellor is a good one? Here are a few tips to keep in mind when looking for a family therapist or marriage counsellor.

1. The first thing you need to look at is the credentials of the counsellor. There are three different classes of counsellors:

* The first type is a Ph.D or Psy.D level counsellor. These counsellors have spent at least five years at graduate school and have performed a minimum of 3,000 hours of therapy while being supervised by an experienced psychologist. A person will need to have a doctoral level degree to be qualified legally as a ‘clinical psychologist’. A counsellor with a Ph.D is often more academic and will often do forensic and scholarly work as well as therapy.

* Next there is M.S.W which is a Master of Social Work. Social workers can work with individuals or in institutions and are trained to apply social theory to different situations.

* Lastly, there is the M.A. or M.S. in counselling. There are often known as Marriage and Family Therapists. This type of therapist can only work in small group counselling situations or with individuals. They will have undergone two years of study and earned a degree and will have worked a minimum of 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.

A Marriage and Family Therapist (M.A. or M.S.) and Social Workers (M.S.W.) are the least expensive options for therapy and if you are claiming your marriage counselling on insurance then you will probably be directed to one of these.

2. Once you know what type of therapist you will see, you then need to find out what prices they charge. Marriage and Family Therapists tend to be the least expensive, while Clinical Psychologists are the most expensive. If you really want to save your marriage the cheapest option might not always be the best. When looking at costs, don’t just look at the cost per session but also the expected length of treatment as this can make a big difference to the overall cost.

3. Next, you will want to look at each therapists policies. You need to consider the following:

* How much do you need to pay if you miss a session?

* If you take a vacation will you still be charged for the session for that week?

* Does your therapist accept calls at home or only at the office? Do they accept calls outside of your normal session times?

* Is there another person that you can talk to in an emergency?

A good family counsellor will have one goal in mind – to help you save your marriage. If you are seeing a counsellor and you don’t feel that they are dedicated to helping you save your marriage then you should move on and find someone else. There are many good counsellors or therapists out there that can help you save your marriage from divorce, so don’t settle for divorce before giving therapy a try.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

7 Tips For Getting Back Together After A Break Up

There are many people that try to get back together with their ex after they go through a break up. They realize that they did not want to actually break up with their significant other, and they want to rectify the situation.

Unfortunately, many fail to understand how to actually get back together with an ex. These seven tips for getting back together after a break up will help you to make all of the right moves, and will help you to get back together with your ex.

Limit your Texting and Calling

If you are trying to get back together with someone after a break up, you need to make sure that you limit your texts and calls to that person. While it is important to keep in contact with the person, it is also important to note appear desperate. The more you call and text, the more desperate you may seem.

Go Out with Friends

If you are trying to get back together with your ex, you want to make sure that you continue on with your life. Enjoy time with friends and family. When you spend time with those you care about, you will be in a better mood. A good mood is contagious, and could spread to your ex.

Make a Romantic Gesture

A single romantic gesture can be the one thing that you need to get back together with your ex. This romantic gesture will show them that you are thinking about them, and that you are willing to go the extra mile to get back together with them.

Give Them Space

It can be difficult to do, but giving space to the person that you are trying to get back together with is the most important thing to do. You need to make sure that you give your ex time to think, and time to miss you. If you are constantly trying to talk to them, they may feel as if they do not have the space to consider getting back together with you.

Talk to Mutual Friends

Talk to mutual friends about your situation. They may know more about the thoughts and feeling about your ex than you do, and they may put in a good word for you the next time they talk to your ex.

Ask for a Date

When you feel comfortable, you need to ask your ex out on a date. Taking your ex out on a romantic and thoughtful date will give you the best chance possible at a reconciliation.

Be Patient and Slow

It is important for you to take this entire process slow. If you try to push too hard, you may push your ex away. Allow for time to play itÕs part as you work to get back together with your ex after you have broken up.

At first, you may find it difficult to follow all of these different tips. Some of these tips will go against the emotions you may feel during the process. This self-control and self restraint will help you to improve your chances of getting back together after a break up.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

5 Tips On Getting Over Your First Love

For most of us, getting over your first love can seem impossible. It's hard to believe that we can ever really be happy again or that we will ever find someone who 'gets' us the same way our love did. The truth is, no matter how hard it is to believe right now, that as humans we are capable of loving many people. We can love very deeply and while we won't love each person in exactly the same way, we can have more than one 'true love' in our lifetimes. The most important thing you need to do is get yourself in a position where you will be able to love again, and that will take some time.

Here are the best steps for making a clean break so that you can move on and find love at some point:

1. You have to face the fact that your relationship is over. This is unbelievably hard to do. You thought the two of you would be together forever and you can't imagine that it could really be over. You have to face the fact that it is over and cut off all communication with your ex.

2. Do not allow yourself to hide away. A few days, or weeks, of wallowing and hiding out is ok, but after that it's time for you to rejoin the world. That's not to say that you should start dating, you probably shouldn't at this point, but you can start spending time with family and friends and not just moping around in your bathrobe for days on end.

3. Do those things that you weren't able to do when the two of you were together. In all relationships there are things that one person doesn't want to do and more often than not the person who does like to do it doesn't get the chance. Now is the time to revisit those things that you've put on hold. Remember the activities and places that once brought you joy and let them bring you joy again.

4. Take this time to reevaluate who you are and what you want. Make yourself the best 'you' you can be. Lose weight, take a class, find a new job, paint your house, it doesn't matter what it is as long as it will have a positive impact on your life. These types of activities will make you feel a little more in control and will help you grow as a person. They can also give you something to distract yourself from the pain you are feeling, at least for a short time.

5. This is the hardest one... give yourself time. Whether you believe it or not at this point, some day the pain will fade and just be a memory and when that day comes you will be ready to love again. You have to give yourself the time you need to mourn your lost love and regain your strength. Don't let others tell you when you should be over it, you will get over it at your pace. However, if you don't seem to be moving forward even a little after several months you may need to have a counselor help you through the grieving process.

Getting over your first love will seem like an impossible task. After all, this is the first time you've ever felt like this and it's easy to believe that you could never possible feel this way again, but you can, and if you give yourself time you will.