Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Guy Advice On Healing A Relationship

If you're struggling to keep your relationship with your wife or girlfriend from falling apart you will need guy advice on healing a relationship. You may want to talk to your buddies, but the truth is they probably don't know any more than you do. Instead read this article for some good advice on repairing your broken relationship.

There are two phrases that should be the building blocks to repairing your relationship: "I'm sorry" and/or "I was wrong". Neither one will mean a thing if they aren't sincere. The first thing you have to do to heal your relationship is to be a man and own up to your part in the problems.

Many men seem to think that apologizing is a sign of weakness. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. If you think about it, one of the hardest things you will ever do is to admit you were wrong and that you caused someone else's pain, especially someone you love. That is a hard thing to do. So apologizing isn't a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of being a man and being strong.

In some ways it might seem easier to just bury your feelings and don't admit that you were wrong or that you are in pain. Again, a very 'manly' thing to do. But is it? While that might be the first thing many men will do, it's not the easiest in the long run. If you bury those feelings you will never truly be free of them. They will jump up and haunt you when you least expect it. No matter how painful it is you need to face them and get over them once and for all. That's the only real way you can have peace for the rest of your life.

So if you want to heal your relationship you need to honestly access your part in the breakdown of the relationship. Were you inattentive, did you take your wife for granted, did you stop making her feel special and loved?

There's a seen in the movie "The Breakup" where Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are fighting. She had just put in a long day at work and hosted a dinner party and wanted his help to clean up. She said to him " I want you to want to do the dishes" and, of course, his response was "Why would I want to help you do the dishes"? A valid question. Sort of.

I doubt that character really thought she wanted him to want to do the dishes. What she really wanted was for him to understand that she was tired and wanted to relax too. She wanted him to show his appreciation of all she does by helping her and taking some of the burden off of her shoulders.

Are you guilty of pretending to be 'stupid'. Pretending like you don't really know what your wife wants? Many men fall into that trap, just like in the movie. They know what their wife is trying to say, they just choose to pretend like they don't because it seems easier than actually helping. It's selfish. And it will lead to long term problems. This all goes back to what I was talking about above: making your wife feel appreciated.

The good news is that if you've made some mistakes in the past you can change and become a better man. You can become the kind of man that you can be proud of and that she can love and respect. Use this guy advice on healing a relationship as a starting point and you can not only save your relationship but improve it too.

Have Fun - Do A Marriage Quiz Today

If you want some light entertainment one evening why not do a marriage quiz together? These tests are designed to be a bit of fun but sometimes they can be used for other purposes. Some people will use them to sort out the problems in their relationship which is rather unrealistic unless both of you have taken a truth drug. For example, if you are both in a loving mood then you will score highly on these tests as you will both be open to the suggestions that your partner is wonderful. However if he is less than Romeo in your eyes or she resembles your mother in law more than the wife you married, you can get all the wrong results. For example, they can be used to check compatibility, although one could argue that it is a bit late checking that when you are already married!

So you have been warned, what can start as a game can quickly turn into an argument if you have underlying issues already. So if you two have been fighting a lot lately perhaps this is not the type of fun you should engage in. But that being said, they can be a useful way to open up a discussion particularly if you find it difficult to talk about your problems. You may find that the quiz opens up some doors to better communication between you. If you want to start talking about a difficult topic you might want to introduce a quiz as an idea for an activity that both of you can do together when the kids have gone to bed. Just be careful as these things can spiral out of control very quickly if either partner takes offence easily.

Where can you find these marriage quizzes? They regularly appear in magazines and are also available online. But if you are having problems in your relationship this is the not the way to resolve them. You need to get some help whether you try a relationship counseling service or some self help books and courses. If you are not sure where to start you could try the Magic Of Making Up which helps to develop proper communication between spouses and partners. Sometimes it can seem like men and women are from two different planets. They often want the same things but are not sure how to put this into words.

Every couple have days where they argue constantly and appear to have lost all love for one another. It is only when these days outnumber the good ones that you need to be concerned. A marriage quiz is meant as a bit of fun and we all need some fun and light entertainment in our lives particularly if we are going through stressful times. One of the best ways of keeping your relationship alive is to laugh together. Try renting an old funny movie or doing a quiz. Whatever works for you.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

How Can I Get My Husband To Fall In Love With Me Again

Whether you feel that you're in a loveless marriage or your marriage has taken a nose dive, you many be asking yourself "How can I get my husband to fall in love with me again? This article will address some ways that can help you win back the heart of your husband (if you've really lost it, that is).

If you happen to be in what you feel is a "loveless marriage", you should understand that if your husband is there, he probably still does love you. "Falling out of love" is a term that is often applied to hum-drum marriages but what it frequently means from the man's point of view is that he has fallen out of love with the way the marriage is going. Your husband may have pulled away from you because he is not happy but can offer no more detailed explanation for his feelings. Men have a hard time accurately interpreting and then communicating what they are feeling. Even if they can't put words to it, what they are often feeling is the relationship doesn't make them feel good about themselves anymore.

When you first started your relationship, you were both putting your best foot forward and putting a lot of time and effort into making the other person feel good about you and about themselves.

So your relationship became stronger and both you and your husband felt wanted, important, interesting and competent, just to name a few. For men, these feelings are what makes him feel like he is in love. So, it's important to understand that when your husband says (or you think) he doesn't love you anymore, that might not be true. It's very likely that he's actually mourning the loss of the relationship that made him feel so great about himself.

So, now that you know this. . .what can you do? First, you get it all out. Tell your husband that you are feeling a distance in your marriage and you miss the closeness and intimacy that you both once enjoyed. Ask him if he wants to improve your marriage. This could scare him because he thinks it will take a lot of work but don't worry about that. The goal here is to communicate your desire to your husband.

Then you show him that he'll probably like what you have in mind. Define what you miss in your relationship. If that happens to be more affection, then show more real affection to your husband. If you want more appreciation, let him know you appreciate him first. Sure, you have to take the first steps, but in time, you'll see that he responds. It's not unusual in the beginning that your husband will just look at you funny or totally reject your attempts. This will probably be hard on your ego but don't give up! You'll see in time that you've found the answer to "How can I get my husband to fall in love with me again?"

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

How To Get A Guy Back After A Breakup

Are you sure that you want to get your guy back after a breakup? It can be hard to know exactly how you feel in the days following the breakdown of your relationship. Feelings of loneliness and wounded pride can be confused with real love. It is always a good idea to try and analyse your relationship and why it failed. If the reason is that long term you are not compatible then do yourself a favor and move onto the next guy. You and your ex deserve to be happy but this does not necessarily mean that will be as a couple.

But if you are genuinely pining for him try these tips:

1) Never stalk a guy to get back with him. He won't find it flattering but will think you have lost your mental capacity. You need to project a confident image even if your insides resemble melting ice-cream.

2) Always look your best whenever you go out. As Helena Rubenstein once said, there is no such thing as an ugly woman, only lazy ones. Now is not the time to let yourself go. Get your hair done, always wear make up and wear the clothes that show off your body in the best light. Don't change your image. He fell for you the way you are so now is not the time to change.

3) Try to determine why you were dumped. Did you behave badly? If you did, then you need to apologise and do this properly. Men have feelings too although they usually manage to hide them better than women.

4) Did you play too many games? I don't know what it is about us women but for some reason we sometimes treat relationships as if they were a game of Chess. If I do this, he will do that approach doesn’t work in most cases and men, like all human beings, do not like being played. Honesty is always the best policy. If you have been playing games as you were trying to see if your feelings were returned, then just ask him out straight. Most men like the direct approach - they are not very good at reading signs and subtle hints.

If you do get back together, make sure that you have sorted out the problems that caused the break up in the first place. Failure to do so just means that you are postponing your heartache. If you are looking to spend your life with this guy you need to be sure that you are compatible in all areas. While sexual attraction is fantastic and in my view a necessary part of every good relationship it isn’t the only thing that matters. Mutual respect, appreciation and shared values go a long way to avoiding having to deal once again with the question of how to get a guy back after a break up.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Help Prevent Marriage Failure

If you are worried about marriage failure, you must sense that all is not rosy in your own love affair. Don't panic, as most marriages go through periods where it seems that the divorce courts are getting nearer but it doesn't have to end this way.

If you have children, you need to get a babysitter. Make a date with your husband away from your home. Go to a restaurant or bar as being in public reduces the risk of your conversation turning into a full scale row. However, leave the booze alone unless of course you have something to celebrate at the end of the day. It is difficult enough to discuss the issues or problems you are facing in your relationship without having an alcohol induced haze to fight as well.

It is important to take this discussion to neutral territory for a number of reasons. For one thing you have a duty to protect your kids from seeing the worst of the arguments between mom and dad. Now don't get me wrong. Your children will benefit from seeing their parents have mutual disagreements as that is life - bringing kids up to believe that the world is a happy place all the time is just silly and in the long term detrimental to their well being. But you need to show them that married couples can argue and remain happily involved. They can disagree but come to a solution together without getting abusive or making appointments with divorce lawyers.

Before you go to this date make a list of all the things you love about your partner and all the things that drive you nuts. Hopefully the first list will be longer! Also try reading a couple of self help relationship counseling books as these can really help you to put things into perspective. I highly recommend reading the Magic of Making Up as it has saved countless marriages and relationships.

When you do go on your date, be careful how you approach your other half. If you start the evening off with "I hate it when" or "look at this list I made of all the reasons you annoy me" you are doomed to failure. You don't want to attack your partner. Ok, you may be angry and you may even have plenty of justification for being very angry but think about what you are trying to achieve.

You do not want your relationship to be another marriage failure statistic. Virtually any relationship can be saved if both parties want it to happen. You may have to persuade your partner that it is worth saving what you have. You will both have to work hard and the next few months may well be the most difficult you have yet encountered in the history of your relationship. But when you get through it you will find that your marriage is stronger and happier than it ever was. Now isn't that worth fighting for?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

How To Avoid Break Up Letters And Stay Together

Nobody likes to receive a "Dear John" letter, phone call and thanks to technology; a "Dear John" text message (is that cruel or what?). The good news is that you can avoid getting break up letters and messages.

Quite simply you need to work hard at your relationship and treat your partner with love and respect. Always make time for them no matter how busy your life becomes.

We all get carried away sometimes. We can spend too much time at the office or with our children or sorting out our friend’s problems. Meanwhile our significant other can feel neglected and this can lead them to breaking up with us.

Can you avoid this happening? Sure and it is often very easy. Becoming aware that you may be guilty of not putting your lover first will help. You can start showing them how you feel about them. Spend some quality time together and tell them how much they mean to you. Simple gestures work wonders and you don't even need to spend cash. Take the kids out for the day and let her have some time to herself. Or take him breakfast in bed. Think about things they love to do and surprise them.

Make sure you find time to compliment your other half so that they know how you feel. Often communication between the sexes can become strained and rather difficult. In fact some people say that it is like trying to have a conversation between two alien species. You need to make an effort as otherwise you could find yourself dumped in favour of someone who will.

The keys to a successful relationship are love, mutual respect and showing consideration. No partnership will survive without all three being present. The love bit is relatively easy! Showing mutual respect should be quite simple but we often put our partners down without realising we are doing it. We may watch TV when they are talking to us or we could have a laugh with our friends at their expense. We may even forget important events such as their birthday or some anniversary.

Showing consideration to others means we have to be a little less selfish. It can be difficult when you have kids or a demanding career or both to find time for yourself never mind someone else. Being a couple means finding extra time even if that necessitates setting the alarm clock for thirty minutes earlier.

Don’t confuse having a successful partnership with being a doormat. All couples argue and it is completely unnatural to expect otherwise. But it is how they argue that is important. When you do have an argument, you still need to treat your partner respectfully. Don’t use bad language or physical violence. Try to remain calm and listen to the other person’s side. Never bring up past events or disagreements. Focus on the issue that is causing the problem today and work on resolving it. And then go and enjoy making up.

Follow these tips and you should avoid the dreaded break up letters and messages.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

How Can I Get My Ex-Girlfriend To Come Back To Me - The Age Old Question

How can I get my ex girlfriend to come back to me is a question guys often ask after they realise they have made a huge mistake. Guys get bored easily and often believe that the grass is greener elsewhere. They see their single friends having fun every night and feel that they are missing out. So they dump their girlfriend and decide to go off and have some fun.

But after a couple of weeks or months leading the glorious single lifestyle, they soon come to realise that their friends are lonely and would do anything to find a lovely long term girlfriend. Their friends may even have been jealous of their relationship and that is the reason why they encouraged the break up. It is not uncommon for a guy to find out that his so called friends asked his ex girlfriend out shortly after they broke up.

Is any of this sounding true to you? Have you made the same mistake? Or perhaps you dumped your partner because you were scared of the feelings she was evoking in you. Perhaps this is the first time you have thought of settling down and having children and that made you head for the hills. This is fairly common thing to do, as men are generally not used to speaking out about their feelings. So how do you get your ex-girlfriend to take you back into her life and her bed; if you see yourself in any of the above.

Whether you are successful in getting your ex back will depend on how she feels about you. If you were the love of her life and this is the first time you have broken up, she may forgive you. But if you are in the habit of finishing with her regularly she may not be so forgiving and you will have to work harder to convince her.

Write to your girlfriend and tell her how you feel. Apologise for how you behaved and explain that you want her back. An old fashioned love letter will work ten times better than texting, phoning, flowers or chocolates. Why? Your woman will be amazed that you have taken the effort to do this.

Most people these days have no idea how to write a proper letter. Go out and buy some nice paper and a pen. In the letter, apologise and ask her to go back out with you. Tell her you love her and miss her and remind her of the great times you two shared together.

After you send your letter, ask your ex out on a proper date. Take her to a fancy restaurant and lay on all the trimmings. Flatter her but mean it sincerely. Don't get creepy as that will freak her out.

Take things slowly and at her pace. Lay your feelings on the line and you may no longer have to ask how can I get my ex-girlfriend to come back to me.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

How Can I Save Our Relationship- Is It Even Possible

I'm sorry. If you're reading this you must be having a very rough time in your relationship. I know how difficult that can be. If you are asking, 'How can I save our relationship?" I do have some tips that might be able to make a difference for you and your partner.

There are a few things you have to consider very carefully and honestly first. You have to decide why you want to save your relationship. That might sound like a dumb comment to make but sometimes we cling to things that we should just let go. We cling for the wrong reasons such as fear of being alone. Before you invest too much time and emotion in trying to save your relationship first make sure that it should be saved.

Now that you've done your honest soul searching and you've decided that your relationship is worth saving here are a few tips you can follow which should help:

1) It's not all about you. So often in relationships one person tends to carry more of the burden. They are the 'fixer'. They are the ones who carry most of the emotional baggage. If that person is you than you have to realize that you can't do it all. If your relationship is going to be saved your partner has to be able, and willing, to meet you halfway.

2) Try to communicate without condemning or criticizing. When a relationship starts to falter there are a lot of hurt feelings and frustrations from both parties. These hurts can build up into a huge wall of resentment. That wall is very tough to tear down. It will take a lot of time, patience, and open communication.

If the two of you aren't good at communicating you might need to find resources such as a book or counseling, that can help you work on your communication skills.

3) Own it. If you've screwed up you need to be a mature adult and admit your mistake and apologize for it. This is key. Remember in step 2 when I talked about resentments building up? You can do a lot to ease those resentments if you just own up to your mistakes and offer a sincere apology for the hurt you may have caused. To someone who loves you and wants to make things work this will be a very sweet sound.

Follow these 3 steps and you will be well on your way to answering the question " how can i save our relationship?". Remember, the problems didn't spring up overnight and they're not going to go away overnight either. But if the two of you are willing to work together you can get back the loving, fulfilling relationship you both want.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

How To Escape The Final Stages Of Breaking Up

As we know very few people suddenly break up. There is usually a series of stages of breaking up that all couples go through. If it comes as a shock, you probably have the reason why you were dumped. You weren’t paying attention to what was happening between you and your partner. Otherwise you would have spotted he/she wasn’t happy, was ignoring you and doing their best not to spend time with you.

We all get caught up in our own thing from time to time and this isn’t usually a problem. But when your partner sees less of you than your friends and other family,it can highlight an issue in your relationship. If you do spend time together but are always fighting, you need to stop and break that cycle. Constant arguing achieves nothing and although initially it is fun making up, it can come to a point where you don’t bother trying.

Does your partner trust you? Do you trust them? Lack of trust is also a symptom of a partnership in trouble. If you always second guess your lover or expect to know where they are all the time, they will soon see that this isn’t love and may move on. If you are behaving like this, you need to stop right now. Unless your spouse has given you reason not to trust them, you should believe in them and have faith that they will do the right thing.

Are you on the same wavelength as your other half? Do they share your happy feelings and commiserate when you are down or feeling low? Couples who instinctively, know how the other is feeling, will overcome most of the hurdles that life can throw at us.

Does your lover share your interests and hobbies? If she has made an effort to get involved, this is a sign that she really cares about you. No-one expects her to join you for your 5am fishing trips but if she seems interested in listening to your stories about what you caught, what size it was, that is a good sign.

Your partner may have asked for a trial separation. Ok, so sometimes this is just an easy way of saying “you are dumped but I can’t say that!” But it doesn’t always have to mean this. Things can go wrong between two people and only time apart will help them to resolve the issues.

So if your lover does suggest this, agree but ask that they come to counselling with you. Show them that you do not want the relationship to end as they mean too much to you. Try not to put pressure on them and do not resort to emotional blackmail. You cannot force someone to love you but you can turn a bad situation into something a lot worse by appearing desperate or manipulative.

True love is based on understanding and respect. Showing your partner that you know this is a great way to avoid the final stages of breaking up.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

He Broke Up With Me How Do I Get Him Back

So you've found yourself wondering, "he broke up with me how do I get him back?" Getting back together after a breakup is never easy. And it's not even always possible, depending on the reasons for the breakup and the attitudes of both people involved.

The first thing to look at is why he broke up with you. Was it because you cheated or he thought you cheated? This is probably one of the most difficult things to overcome. If you did cheat, you should examine the reasons why you did it. Maybe you shouldn't be together.

If you did cheat and you know it was a terrible mistake, consider whether or not you lied about it to him. Cheating at all was a sort of lie, but when confronted did you deny it? Or did you immediately confess it? Or, another possibility, did you say nothing and then when he found out you admitted it was true?

If you did cheat, you have to realize how hurt he must be. The only way to getting back together is to make him believe that you know you made a terrible mistake, you're sorry, and you're willing to work very hard not to hurt them again.

If he believes that you cheated and you didn't, there are only so many ways to prove your innocence. If he's not willing to take your word for it, there's really very little you can do to prove you've been faithful. If he doesn't trust you, do you really want to be with this person?

If he broke up with you because he wanted to be with someone else, this is also extremely difficult. This is probably the worst situation for you. As long as he's with the other person, he'll probably feel no need to come back to you. There is hope, however.

When you see him and talk to him, be on your very best behavior. You want him to remember the fun and loving person that he started the relationship with. Not the one he left for another person. He may have left you mistakenly, but chances are he believed you had changed from the person he wanted you to be.

You shouldn't try to change yourself to please him. But you should present yourself as that person he initially fell in love with. Without accusations, pleading or threats, let him know how you feel and that you want him back. And then simply be as good a friend as you possibly can to him.

This shows him that you care about him and not just about getting him back. Now you're thinking that he broke up with me how do I get him back? I'm not interested in spending months being on my best behavior.

But it's important that you show him you're there for him, without trying to make yourself into a person that you're not. It's also important to realize that eventually, you need to move on if it doesn't work out.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

How To Be Nice To Your Girlfriend And Make Her Happier

If you are wondering how to be nice to your girlfriend you have probably picked up some signs that it is not all rosy in your relationship. You must act fast as she may get fed up and decide to become your ex.

Ideally you should read a few books on relationships in order to get the full picture but I will try to give you a snapshot now. You need to treat the woman in your life with respect. If you are living together, then do not expect her to do everything around the house. Sure, she may be a better cook than you are but that doesn't mean that you can't do dinner some evenings. Or you could let her cook but be the one to set the table and tidy away afterwards.

Some men appear to have a gift for instinctively knowing how to treat a woman, for the rest of us it can be a little more complicated. At least it was until I read up on some techniques. My girlfriend was amazed. In fact it almost backfired as she thought another woman was teaching me how to behave! Not the result I was hoping for but thank goodness once I showed her my latest reading material she believed me. In fact she was very impressed I cared enough to be trying to learn new skills. Seemingly I hadn't been showing I was interested in our relationship prior to this. I thought I was doing everything right, I took her out to dinner, brought her flowers and some jewelry but according to her I had forgotten how to listen. And that is more important than my over the top gestures!

Obviously it will depend on what the situation is with your relationship. If you are asking how to be nice to your girlfriend you are obviously worried that you are missing something. Why not try sitting down with your partner and asking her how she is feeling. Ask her if she is happy or is there something wrong? Some women like gestures whereas others, like my girlfriend simply wanted my attention but to talk not to do other stuff! I found out that women like to chat even if there is nothing important to say. They actually enjoy talking to us and listening to our views so long as we also listen to them. But they hate when we try to fix every problem. Just because they tell us they are having an issue at work or with a friend, doesn't mean that they want us to solve it for them. They may just want reassurance they are handling the situation properly by themselves. They may simply be using you as a sounding board.

If you want to still be together when you are old and grey, you need to learn how to communicate properly. Then you won't be wondering how to be nice to your girlfriend.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

How Do I Get My Ex Back - Your Answer To The Question

You might have asked yourself the question “how do I get my ex back?” recently.

If you’ve asked yourself that question, the good news is that you are not alone. All over the country there are people suffering from the same condition that you are. They have been dumped by someone they love and for that reason are finding it hard to let go of that person. You might not think that you are hung up on the person, but you owe it to your own mental well being in order to make sure. There is a thin line between seeking a healthy renewal of a relationship with an ex and obsession. The moment you cross that line, you’ve taken the road to making your life miserable.

There are actually many ways for you to tell whether you are taking the road to ruin or whether you genuinely do feel that resuming things with the ex would be a healthy way to go forward. If you feel the uncontrollable urge to push the issue every time you think about it, chances are pretty good that you are taking the road to ruin. If you feel like you can bide your time and develop a friendship with your former lover before taking things back to the next level, you are in healthy mentality area. Generally speaking, your mindset and the first strategies that come to your mind will give you away.

This fits in nicely with the strategies that don’t work and the ones that do. The strategies that you’d think of when you were obsessing would mostly be strategies that had no chance of working. The strategies that you’d come up with (like going through friendship) when thinking about building healthy relationships are the ones that really have the chance of working.

Whatever you do, you do not want to rush things with your ex. If they broke up with you, they are going to need to get over the breakup before they can be coaxed back into a relationship. This is true even if you broke up with them since it is hurt rather than distaste that they need to get over. The truth of the matter is that you need to give them a lot of time and space at first, gradually closing both the time and the space as you begin to get your foot back in the door with them. It may not be pretty, but it is definitely going to be the best chance that you have.

At the start of this article, you asked a question. You asked “how do I get my ex back?” The answer is now available to you in the whole truth and nothing but the truth. If you take these methods here and apply them to your own life, you will have a better chance at getting your ex back than you would have from any other strategy you could employ. That is a fact. It is the truth without any sugar-coating.

Monday, June 7, 2010

How A Rebound Relationship Can Work

Are you worried about your new partner and whether they are committed to you? Do you wonder how a rebound relationship can work particularly if there are unresolved feelings left from the previous affair?

Often rebound relationships can be a band aid solution for the pain and hurt inflicted by the previous lover. If the person getting involved in the new relationship was the one to end the old one, I would be less worried. Usually people have been thinking of ending a relationship for ages before the event actually happens. By the time they get to finish it, they may have worked through their feelings and be ready to move on.

This doesn't apply to the person who didn’t instigate the previous breakup and becomes quickly involved in a new relationship. Some people cannot bear to be on their own so will flit from person to person in an effort to avoid dealing with the issues leading to the breakup. They are used to being part of a couple. They have an inherent need for someone to love them and need them and hence they can become deeply emotionally involved very quickly. Ironically this is often the reason for the rebound relationship breaking up as the new partner feels swapped by the level of neediness.

It is worth noting that often someone on the rebound often isn't even aware of what they are doing. They are hurting emotionally and mentally and can crave comfort from another human being. This can mean that they end up in a relationship for the sake of having somebody to hold rather than to be with that person. Their new partner can get very hurt as the realisation sets in that they aren’t loved for their individuality as much as the fact they can provide a quick fix solution to a painful situation.

It is always wise to date people who have just come out of a relationship with care. Take things slowly and try to make sure that it is you they are interested in before becoming emotionally involved. Everyone needs time on their own particularly if they come out of a long term partnership.

It is a little like grieving - there is a process that you must go through in order to emerge a stronger person at the end of it. For most people divorce and the breakup of a partnership means the end of a dream even if you were the one to instigate the break up. Everyone will have some feelings of regret if only for not having the fairytale ending.

If you do find yourself involved with someone who you suspect is on the rebound, gently advise them to spend some time on their own working through their emotions. Encourage them to date other people. Keep in contact with them if you are interested in a long term relationship. If you two are destined to be together, it will happen although maybe not right away. This is really the only way to ensure how a rebound relationship can work for you.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

How To Avoid A Long Term Relationship Breakup

Every couple experience rough patches but how can you avoid a long term relationship breakup?

We can all take our partners for granted sometimes. Life often gets in the way of your relationship and we are inclined to think our spouse will understand. But that is not always the case. Your significant other may wonder where he/she comes on your list of priorities. He or she may feel neglected and if someone else comes along that pays them some attention and makes them feel desired, who is to say that they won’t be tempted.

Why not surprise your partner and arrange a date night. If you have children, arrange a babysitter. If money is a little tight, then put the kids to bed early and cook your partner a nice dinner. Add some candles and flowers and switch off the TV. Ban all talk of your offspring, your money issues or your family. The only conversation allowed is the type you would normally have on a date night. Imagine you don’t know each other. Ask your other half to tell you something about themselves, after which you will divulge a secret.

When you have been together for a long time, it can get a little dull in the bedroom department. Being intimate is the glue that holds couples together. It is not all about sex but holding hands, cuddling and being affectionate. If you have fallen into a rut where the only intimate occasions you see are those on a TV set, you need to sort this out.

Don’t ignore it as it can lead to feelings of anxiety and despair on both sides. But you cannot pressure the other person either. So why not make it a game. Both of you have to make a list of all the things you would like to do/have done to each other. Each person gets a turn having one item on their list. She may want you to run her a nice bath and allow her to soak for an hour with only the candles for company. We can probably guess what he would like!

Rediscover the passion that brought you together in the first place. Let’s face it most couples do not get involved due to the fantastic conversation. There has to be the x factor as well. But when you have shared what seems to be a lifetime, the roaring flames of desire may now resemble a smouldering ember. But the good news is that it is easy to relight existing fires, you just need a little practice!

Couple that laugh together, share their inner most thoughts and feelings and make time for one another are the most likely to be walking hand in hand sharing their twilight years. Life is not a bed of roses but it is a lot more fun when you share it with someone you love. You should avoid that long term relationship breakup at all costs.

How Do I Get Back Together With My Ex Made Simple

If you are asking how do I get back together with my ex, you have obviously decided that it was a mistake for you to break up. Perhaps it wasn't your decision to break off with your partner. Perhaps something huge happened such as an affair or other form of cheating. Or maybe you just grew apart. But now having spent some time away from one another you have decided that they are the person for you.

The good news is that thousands of couples get back together every day so it is not some impossible fantasy that you are contemplating. It is easier to rekindle feelings with an ex-partner than to meet a new Mr or Ms Right. Now that doesn't mean you should get back together with your ex because you can't be bothered getting to know someone new and feel that your ex girlfriend or boyfriend is easier bet. You should only be getting back together if you feel that you two have something really special and worth saving.

The mistake most people make is that they try and push the other person too hard into taking them back. While I agree that you should be persuasive, you should take a subtle approach. You need to see things from your ex's point of view and try and work out how you are going to convince them that you and your relationship are worth giving another shot.

I am not saying it is going to be easy. It would be a lot easier if you don't try to do this alone. You can chose to have relationship counselling but not everyone feels comfortable discussing intimate details with a stranger. Another option is to try reading a couple of self help books. Some people find these very effective but others wish they could contact someone to ask them a question if they needed to. The good news is that there are some courses that offer you this facility as well and you can use email i.e. you do not need to meet the person who is going to help you.

Love is a very powerful emotion and sometimes it can cause us to do silly things. Now is not the time to let your jealousy or anger take over. You need to deal with these negative emotions and concentrate on the positive ones. Do not contact your ex until you are 100% sure that you can remain in control of your feelings and can be the person they want to be with. Nobody wants a jealous, angry partner. They want someone who loves them, who is confident and secure in themselves and eager to carve out a happy life together.

Show them you can be this person and you won't be asking how do I get back together with my ex for much longer. You will be celebrating your return to the happy world of couples. Go on you can do this. Start today.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Healing From A Broken Relationship

Healing from a broken relationship is a tough thing to do, but the good news is, it can be done. You just need to understand the process and allow yourself the time that you need.

One of the first things to remember is there is no time limit. It will take you as much time as it takes you, period. There is no set rule on how long it should take you, though you still should be making some forward progress after a few months. You may be a long way from being back to normal, but you should be starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

One word of caution, though: if you don't seem to be making any progress at all, you may want to hire a therapist to help you through the worst of it. Sometimes having an objective third party who can offer unbiased advice is a good way to help us jumpstart our recovery. It may even help speed the process along a little, and who wouldn't want that?

Another thing you can do to help speed things along is find yourself. This may sound like strange advice but in most relationships you will lose a little of yourself. This seems to be particularly common with women. It's easy to become a 'we' and lose a little 'me'. And a little of that isn't a bad thing, but once the relationship has ended it's time to get your 'me' back.

This process will help you heal and grow. It will remind you that there was a time when you were happy without your ex. This 'reawakening' can be a very exciting time and it can help dull at least some of the pain you're feeling since the breakup. If nothing else, it will give you something to occupy your mind with.

Spending time with family and friends will help you enormously too. Surrounding yourself with people who love you will help you stay strong. When in the midst of a bad breakup it's easy to forget that you will be happy again. It can be hard to see past that black hole, but if you're with your family and friends they will help you feel the love that you are missing from your ex.

While this isn't the time to wallow, it might not be a bad idea to remind yourself of the things in the relationship that made you unhappy, or mad, or both. You don't want to dwell on the relationship too much at this point but reminding yourself of the bad times might help you gain a little clarity and move the healing process along a little bit.

No matter how you choose to go about it, just remember that healing from a broken relationship is possible. You will get through it and you will find love and happiness again. If you learn from your past relationship you can take that knowledge with you into your next relationship which will help make that relationship even better. Just hang in there.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Love Me Even If Ive Cheated

Are you asking yourself "How can I get my girlfriend to love me again. . ." after you've cheated? If so, you've probably already tried everything you can think of. You've told her it didn't mean anything, you've apologized over and over again and said you'd never do it again, you've begged on your hands and knees for forgiveness. But that didn't work and you're back to square one.

You need to be careful when you're trying to win your girlfriend back under any circumstances. . .but especially if you've cheated. You do want her back desperately and would do anything to change what you did but it won't be in your advantage to appear desperate. That would only contribute to the many reasons she has for not accepting you back right now. But how can you show her how sorry you are then?

One of the best strategies in regaining your girlfriend's heart is to write her a letter. Tell her that you agree with her decision to take some time. Tell her that she's exactly right, the two of you should really be going your own separate ways. Tell her that you've seen the end coming for quite a while now. After that, write a short apology. Tell her how very sorry you are for cheating on her. Agree that it showed a tremendous lack of respect towards her and once again convey how you really regret having done it. And finally, reveal that something really wonderful as happened in your life and you'd like to tell her about it whenever you can. Sign off in a neutral way and you've created the letter.

Whether you've realized it or not, sending a letter that contains those concepts is an extremely effective way to get your girlfriend's "love blood" flowing again. You're showing in a very classy way that you know what you've done and understand how it has hurt her and, at the same time, you're showing her that you're not completely devastated and mucking around in self-hate and pity. ..you're ready to start anew. It's very likely when your girlfriend reads the letter that she will contact you soon afterwards and you won't be in the position of begging for her time and forgiveness anymore.

This is just the first step in winning your girlfriend's heart back and you will definitely need to be ready when she gets back in touch with you after reading your letter. While you're waiting for her answer, make sure you take care of yourself, go out with friends and keep yourself busy - concentrate on being positive and upbeat. You want to be in the right state of mind when your girlfriend gets back to you. Don't hang around the phone and mope when you haven't heard anything yet.

Give it time. And play it cool when she does get in touch with you. Hopefully this has helped you with the first step in your question of "How can I get my girlfriend to love me again. . .even after I've cheated."