Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Break Up Help If Youre Still In Love With Your Ex

Did you go through a break up, but you find you still have strong feelings for your ex? Are you searching for break up help? Regardless, you now find yourself separated from the person you are still in love with and you are in a position where you will have to move on, or get help to win them back. Either way, you have come to the right place to get some help.

If you have decided that it's best for you to move on, then the type of break up help you will need depends on how bad your relationship was, and how nasty the break up itself was. If it was really bad, and there was a lot of emotional drama, then you are going to need a lot of time to come to grips with what happened and to be happy again, but it can be done.

No matter how bad you feel, it is vital that you take care of yourself. You don't have to be a martyr or a victim. Instead, you have to decide that you are going to carry on, and that you are going to be better than ever. remember, we are talking about break up help if you have decided that you are going to move on. Don't be hard on yourself for past mistakes or for the relationship coming to an end. Forgive yourself if you have to. Then hold your head high and get ready to enjoy the new life that's ahead of you.

If you find it is just too hard to go on, then get help from a professional; either a counselor or psychiatrist. They will be able to help you get on the right track. Some people feel funny about getting help, but keep in mind that they will hold everything you say in the strictest confidence, and that no matter what you tell them, they have heard it all before.

Once you are feeling better, you may actually decide that you would like to get back together with your ex, or maybe that's what you would like break up help for in the first place. If you want to get back together with your ex, then you need to take small steps. Do not start off too strong. If you push too hard they will only pull away, and that's not what you want.

Give your ex some time to sort things out. You can re-open the lines of communication after you have given them enough time. Your first contact should be low key. Your only goal here is to be able to talk to them again. Each time you talk be sure to stay positive and keep your ex feeling comfortable. By doing this, they will be more receptive to hearing from you again. And the more time you spend with them, the more they will get used to having you around again. In a nutshell, the best break up help you can have is to give it some time, stay positive, and spend more and more time with your ex.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

How Do I Get My Husband To Love Me Again

"Dear Abby. . .How do I get my husband to love me again?" Have you been thinking this to yourself and wondering where to turn for help? You're marriage has gone stale and you don't know exactly why, or even if you do know why, you don't know exactly what to do about it.

What usually happens unfortunately is that as time passes, the powerful love, respect and admiration that women feel from their husband is replaced by feelings of hurt, awkwardness and distance. Some women are sure that their husbands have fallen out of love with them. sometimes the husband actually spells it out. Or sometimes the husband denies this but the "something's-wrong-feelings" are still around. If you feel that your husband has fallen out of love with you, there are steps you can take to bring you back to where you once were in your relationship and/or to make your marriage even stronger.

Try to think back to when you and your husband first fell in love. Do you remember what you loved about him and what he loved about you? Of course we all change as we get older so some of our qualities have become stronger and some have disappeared. A really common example of this is when a career-woman becomes a stay-at-home mom.

Sometimes husbands miss the way their wives were before they became homemakers. So now you're thinking, "Well, I can't do anything about that!" To some extent that's true. You have a new and important role now in life that you shouldn't give up but you could try to add some variety in every once in a while by taking a night off to go out with friends or volunteer for a cause. This will remind your husband, and probably even yourself, that you are a multi faceted person with a lot to offer.

Here is something else that you need to consider if you're trying to get your husband to fall back in love with you. Remember what the bible says? "Do unto others as you would have done to you. . ."? How are you treating your husband? Of course how you act towards him may be altered if you feel that he doesn't love you anymore. But how have you been treating him in the last few years even before you noticed the change in him? It's easy and commonplace to start taking your husband for granted once you're married and even more so after the years go on. He probably does the same with you.

Maybe you've been dedicating yourself to the children for the most part and that means less one-on-one time with your man? Or maybe you're constantly nagging him about certain things you want done around the house which he neglects to do?

If you can switch your behavior around and start treating your husband the way you would like to be treated, he will eventually catch on and do the same. By letting your husband know that you appreciate and love him, you'll bring the two of you closer. And that is one answer to your question "How do I get my husband to love me again?"

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

How To Be A Girlfriend Without Driving Him Away

Isn't it funny what we wonder about? I mean if you are thinking about how to be a girlfriend, it would suggest that something isn't working in your relationship. Or perhaps you thought it was working but you have just been dumped.

Hollywood makes having a perfect relationship seem so easy. In fact all the famous love stories do i.e. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Pretty Woman all finish when the couple get together. They don't hang around for the difficult part i.e. when she discovers he snores in bed and puts his dirty socks under the bed rather than in the laundry. He finds out that she may be gorgeous but has a wicked temper and is quite demanding at times.

So what do you have to do to be a great girlfriend? You must accept your man for who he is. Far too many women get involved with "Mr ok but will soon change him to be Mr right". That is insulting for both of you. He doesn't deserve to be your pet project but deserves someone who will accept him for who he currently is. But you are also letting yourself down by settling for second best. It would be better not to be a girlfriend than to be the nagging partner no man wants.

You can be part of a couple and have an independent life. Some women find a man and then spend all their time with him. While it is normal to enjoy spending time with the man in your life, you need to have some time away too if only to have something to talk about when you do meet up. Men appreciate space and time with their mates. When he is having some time out, don't keep texting him as he will think you are stalking him.

Have conversations with your man rather than one sided lectures. It is difficult for most men to get excited about the latest plot on a soap opera or what the current fashion is. Try to talk about topics that interest the both of you and every so often shut up and let him talk as well. God gave you one mouth and two ears for a reason, use them in proportion.

Just because your man wants you as his girlfriend doesn't mean that he is going to fall in love with your family and friends too. So long as he is polite to them, don't push him into being anything else. Relationships develop over time but there is a chance he may never like your best mate. That is life and you can't change it.

Always be honest with your man and for goodness sake drop the mind games. Whoever told a woman that men are intrigued by mind games obviously drank too much alcohol.

There is a tried and tested recipe for success in all relationships. I am guessing you are not sure what it is if you are asking how to be a girlfriend. Don't you think now would be a good time to find out?

Monday, August 23, 2010

He Broke Up With Me - How Do I Get Him Back

He broke up with me, how do I get him back in my life is something we have all asked ourselves at some point. Perhaps this is the first time a man has dumped you. Or maybe this is your first relationship break up.

Either way you need to examine why you want this person back. Are you really in love with them and want a relationship with this person or is your ego hurting? We often are not too interested in someone until they make the decision that they no longer like us. Suddenly we find them attractive again or we may decide that if anyone is going to break up we will be the one to do it. So before you waste your time and energy getting this man back into your life, make sure that you really want him. If you are trying to get back at him, forget about it. The only person you will hurt is yourself and that is never a good thing.

Most adults have been dumped at some point and while it is not a nice feeling, it is not the end of the world. You will kiss many frogs before you find your prince and some of those frogs may finish with you first.

If you are really in love with him, do you know why he finished the relationship? Did you hurt him? Were you unfaithful or mean or ungrateful? If your behaviour was the reason he finished with you, then you need to apologise to him. Tell him you are sorry and ask for another chance.

If you do not know why the relationship brok up and are certain you want this man back, you need to use some female wiles. Dress to impress all the time so that when you bump into him, he will see what he is missing. Go on friendly dates with other men, but don't over do it. It's true we all want what we cannot have and if your ex sees you dating new men, he may get jealous and decide he wants you for himself. However, this particula tatic can back fire on you very easily.

Have fun and enjoy yourself as this will leave a sparkle in your eye. Nobody wants a desperate unhappy person, they are a drag to be around. Act like a bright candle attracting various people around you. Go out and enjoy yourself. Your mutual friends are bound to report back to your ex that you are having a really good time. This will not do much for his ego.

Pretend not to be interested in your ex so that he has to work harder to get you back. If he seems to be interested, you can discretely encourage his attention but do not dwell on his every word. Make him see that you have a life and if he wants to be a part of it again, he needs to make an effort.

He broke up with me, how do I get him back may be quite an easy question to answer - give it a shot today and see.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

How Do I Win Ex Back Advice That Works

When you initially break up with someone you can feel a lot of different emotions but you don't usually wonder how to win ex back until some time has passed. When you realize that the person who shared your life was the one you wanted. You may have broken up because you felt you were missing out on something.

We can all suffer from something known as the grass being greener. This is where we think other people have a better lifestyle and we are missing out. We can take the people we love for granted and decide for whatever reason that there is someone better out there who will make a more perfect partner.

But the single life is not that attractive and after a while we start to wonder how to win ex back. Thankfully it is not that difficult once you know what you are doing and don't make any stupid mistakes. Too often we think that just because we are missing our ex partners, they are missing us too. We decide that a bunch of flowers and a nice meal is all that is needed to sort it out. But this is real life and not the movies and it will often take a lot more than this to end up back together.

Love is such a powerful emotion. It can cause huge happiness but it can also cause a lot of sadness. When someone trusts you with their love, they expect to be treated with respect. They do not expect you to betray them or hurt them. Even if you have not had an affair, the very fact you broke up will have hurt the other person. It will have dented their confidence and their belief in themselves as well as your relationship.

You need to apply a lot of strategies to convince them to give you another chance. It helps if you can see their point of view. Try to understand how they are feeling and take things gently and at their pace. You may need to convince them that you are not just bored of single life but actually miss them as a person. You will have to remind them of all the reasons why they fell in love with you and why your relationship as a couple is worth salvaging.

You cannot push another person to fall in love with you so don't try. Getting angry or jealous won't work either. You need to show them that you are mature and worth their time. You need to prove that you are 100% committed to achieving happiness as a couple and that you want them in your life forever and not just because you are now lonely.

It is well worth reading a couple of relationship advice books to make sure that you give this chance to win ex back your best shot. We often only get one real chance to convince our ex partners to take us back. Don't ruin it by being unprepared.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back

How to get an ex boyfriend back is a tough thing to do especially if he doesn’t want to come back. His not wanting to take you back may be a short-term situation or it might be a long term one. Largely it depends on the situation. You can’t force him to change his mind but you can do some things that might help influence him. Part of it comes in knowing what went wrong and why. The rest comes in finding what can be done differently and then convincing him that it can be. How to get an ex boyfriend back may be a tough road to travel and the destination may be unknown but it could result in a lifetime of rewards.

What happened to get you to this point where you need to know how to get an ex boyfriend back in the first place? You need to take an honest look at what happened in the relationship. Was it something that you did or something that he did? If it was something that he did, you may want to rethink the whole thing because you need to be absolutely sure that he isn’t going to do it again. If it was something that you did then what was it that brought you to the point that a split would happen? What and where did things go wrong? Most importantly, what is going to keep it from happening again? You have to have an answer for this.

What is going to be done differently if you are successful in finding out how to get an ex boyfriend back? Why should he believe that things are changed or will be different? Are you changing some things? Is he? This will take more than just words and a desire to be better: it will take action. It will take effort on both your part and his. In this you must be willing to lead by example and you may have to prove that you are trustworthy in this before he will give you another chance.

Proving to him that you are able to have a better relationship may be the most difficult part of it. If there are mistakes that have been made in the past that kept recurring, how can you prove that it won’t happen again? Only one way it can happen and that is to be incredibly diligent in your efforts to not let that happen again. If someone wants you to stop smoking and it is important to not let them down then how are you going to show that you can stop? Easy answer, you don’t do it anymore. You avoid situations where you are likely to crave it or where you might be tempted to do it. You also seek help. That is what it is going to take with learning how to get an ex boyfriend back.

You won’t be able to do it on your own. Restoring a broken relationship will take more than your efforts and desires. It will take both of you. You need an ally to help you get things back together. Once you have gotten your ex boyfriend convinced that it is worth working on then you will have your ally and will have found out how to get an ex boyfriend back.

Monday, August 16, 2010

How To Be Romantic With Your Girlfriend And Be A Winner

It is no wonder we are confused as sometimes our good intention are met with obvious disapproval. Like the last time I bought my partner roses. She was going out on a night out and I thought she would be really surprised. She was but all I got was earache and sore arms. She kept wondering what I had done that I had to buy her red roses and guess who got to carry the bunch around all night. So my expensive gesture fell flat on its face and didn't improve things at all. She blamed me for ruining her night out and we ended up having another blazing row. In hindsight it was a little silly sending her flowers to her office when I knew she was going out on the town that Friday night.

These are the types of mistakes I used to make all the time. Instead of making my relationship happier, it only led to more rows. In desperation I started to buy women's magazines to see if I could get any insight into her mind but that didn't work and I sure got some funny looks down at the Mall. Eventually I bit the bullet and bought a relationship course.

You see I didn't know that there is a recipe for relationship success. Sure some people have it without resorting to books but these people are in the minority. Others, like me, are constantly wondering why they get it wrong so often. It can get so bad that you end up wondering whether they are with the wrong partner. But the truth is that communication between the two sexes isn't always easy. There are plenty of mixed messages and confusing signals.

Men usually don't find talking easy whereas it would seem that women have to talk all the time. You need to listen when they want to chat; in fact they find this romantic. Grand gestures like the red roses are easy to arrange. You just phone the florist and give them your credit card number. It takes a lot more effort to clean the house and cook a special dinner as a surprise for when she gets home. Or if you have kids, find a babysitter and take your partner out for the evening.

Why do you think so many couples who appear well suited break up? They haven't all had affairs. In fact if you ask them why they have broken up, they usually can't tell you but more often than not they want to get back with their ex. But you will often find that they haven't spent any time on their own together recently.

Let me tell you if you think it is difficult to answer how to be romantic with your girlfriend, you should try doing it when she is your ex! So don't make the same mistakes I did. Get a blueprint to having a successful happy relationship today and soon all your friends will be asking you for relationship advice.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

How To Be Affectionate With Your Girlfriend and Keep Her

Falling out of love can happen to all couples regardless of how strong their relationship was. In order to recover the magic, you need to learn how to be affectionate with your girlfriend. There are different ways of learning. You can ask an older man in a successful relationship for some advice. You could talk to your friends but do yourself a favor and only listen to the ones that are happily involved. The others are single for a reason. Or you could buy a great book, read it and put the theory into practice.

Women are often complex creatures but the majority just love it when you show affection. Now I mean real affection and not just a pre sex hug. Sex is a different animal to men and women. In a committed relationship, women often use sex to show affection and appreciation whereas men are less likely to think that deeply about it. They may just care whether it is any good or not or if it is even available. If a woman is hurt or upset you can usually gauge it from the warmth of the response she shows to your advances. If she usually initiates making love but hasn't, you can bet a dollar there is something wrong. It may not be your fault but she may be holding you responsible anyway.

If you read any decent book giving advice on relationships, you will know that one way to get more sex is to do more around the house and not leave everything to your other half. Another way is to show her affection when she least expects it. Hold her hand while on a walk, carry her shopping, collect her from work if it is raining or buy her flowers even though it isn't her birthday or your anniversary. Arrange to spend time together doing something that the two of you love.

Most romantic partnerships don't break down because of affairs or other huge events but because the little things are missing. If you feel that you are drifting apart, get some help and advice on how to put everything back on course. Don't ignore the signs of unhappiness hoping they will go away. Women can easily feel ignored and taken for granted and you may only be distracted by your job or financial situation. She may feel that you must have another woman in your life as you aren't interested in her any more. Or perhaps she is feeling used. Be honest, is the only time you show her affection those nights when you are hoping sex is on the menu?

So how do you get the love back into your relationship? There are many ways but perhaps one you could try is to pretend you are dating again. How did you treat your partner when you just met? She is still with you, for now anyway, so you must have done something right.

You need to find out now how to be affectionate with your girlfriend or you just might find someone else has been!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

How To Get Back An Ex and Make It Stick

When wondering how to get back an ex, we often forget that we are working from a position of strength. If you are trying to convince a new potential partner to notice you, you may have to try various different tricks to gain their attention. You don't know them so you don't know which buttons to press.

But when dealing with your ex, you know exactly what they like and don't like. You know which clothes they prefer you to wear, what scent or cologne, where they hang out and what they like doing in their spare time. You know her favorite flowers or what team he supports. You know this person intimately and you can use this knowledge to your advantage. OK, you also have the disadvantage of the fact that you have already broken up once but that is not the end of the world. We all make mistakes and thankfully most can be rectified.

So don't despair, you have a lot of things going for you. Millions of couples the world over break up and get back together again and so can you. You just need to know how to approach your ex-partner and convince them that you deserve another chance. Honest communication is the best policy. Don't be tempted to play games, you are not a child and this is not the playground. Some people will tell you that you should try and make your ex jealous. But trying to hurt anyone doesn't show any respect for that person's feelings never mind those of the person you are using.

Unfortunately how to have a successful relationship is not a subject taught in school. Some of us are lucky to have parents who are still together and have shown us by their example, what a happy partnership is. But all too often this is not enough. Go into any bookshop and you will see shelves of books on relationships. How to make them better, how to make them work, how to meet the right man or woman, how to keep them once you meet them etc. You think of any question you may have had about your relationship and there is a probably a book written to answer it.

But reading loads of books won't turn you into a relationship expert overnight. You need to read the right material. You need to know that other people have found these books useful and been successful in attracting their ex back into their lives.

You want a course that doesn't promise the earth but will help you to resolve your differences with your ex and enable you to become a happy couple once again. Sometimes these books will claim to make you totally irresistible to the other sex. But this isn't what you want. There is only one person you are interested in getting back. So, it really is up to you. You can stay home and be miserable wondering how to get back an ex or you can be constructive and take positive steps and hopefully soon you will be back in the arms of your lover once more.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Heartbroken Sayings Can Comfort And Inspire You

Sometimes our own words do not suffice. Finding the right words to truly express how we feel can be difficult, especially if you have been unlucky in love. Using heartbroken sayings can be comforting and help you not feel as alone as you learn how others have coped with loss and have expressed how they feel.

Quotes about heartbreak are numerous and can be quite eloquent or even funny. Here are some notable heartbroken sayings and hopefully they will help you:

- “Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.” – Washington Irving. Coming from the man who wrote the Legend of Sleepy Hollow, this is a surprising sentiment, but it offers a positive spin on unrequited love.

- “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” – Richard Bach. This is a famous love quote that offers some comfort if you have loved and lost. Setting them free can also be interpreted also as giving them some space rather than your relationship breaking up completely.

- “What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you.” - Richard Wilbur. This quote makes a simple but eloquent statement. This makes the point that there were two of you in the relationship, so each of you has suffered the heartbreak of breaking up. This is easy to forget if you only focus on how you are feeling.

- “Sadness flies away on the wings of time.” - Jean de La Fontaine. What you are feeling right now will not last forever even though it may not feel like that now. Make sure to allow yourself time to grieve the loss of a relationship. Moving on too quickly can be more detrimental in the long run.

- “Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.” - Charlie Brown. Leave it to Charles Schultz to describe a feeling so simply. With such a simple statement, we can all understand the sentiment behind the quote easily.

- “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.” - Author Unknown. While our first instinct is to do everything we can to mend the relationship, sometimes it is better that it ends as that may cause more heartbreak.

- “I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too.” - Missy Altijd. Love lost can affect you in many ways, including feeling pain throughout your body along with the emotional pain. What we project mentally can manifest physically. If you decide to project positivity, it can help ease your pain.

- “Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.” - Author Unknown. This is a reminder to count our blessings and while we may be hurting from a break up, we should still value the relationship we lost.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Together

If you are reading this, you are obviously looking to convince your ex boyfriend to get back together. But the question you should be asking yourself is why? Do you really want this person back or are you just feeling lonely and frightened of being single.

Being single can be great fun but it is a different lifestyle from that of a couple. You don't have to please anybody else which can be liberating but being on your own again can also be scary. You may feel that you will never meet Mr Right and that time is passing you by.

But never get back with your ex boyfriend just because you are scared of being on your own. He may be your ex but the next guy on the block may be the ONE. If you split for silly reasons such as game playing or a temper tantrum and you want this guy back then it is best to try and apologise for your behaviour.

If he decided to break up with you, he may have got cold feet. Guys don't always want to admit that they prefer spending time with one lady rather than playing the field. Examine your relationship and see if this could be the case with your guy.

Signs to look out for include the way he treated you. If he usually behaved like a gentleman then there is a good chance he is regretting the break up. Another good sign is if he introduced you to his family, in particular his mother. Men don't tend to bring home their girlfriends unless they are pretty serious about her and sees a future together.

So when trying to convince your ex boyfriend to come home, you need to try to see the relationship from your partners point of vuew. Being able to see each other's perspective gives you a better chance of resolving your differences. You will both need the freedom to express your feelings even if these are potentially hurtful for the other person to hear.

So long as both parties don't use this opportunity as a means of hurting each other, you stand a good chance of working through the issues. Knowing how to criticise and accept criticism is a good starting point for any relationship.

You both need to be assertive and decide what it is that you want out of this relationship. Knowing where you stand means that you can both move forward with your lives even if it means that you do split up. Hopefully you will decide that you want to be together and are more committed to resolving your differences.

If you do feel angry then let it show. Just be sure that when you show your anger you don’t reject your partner at the same time. You are trying to help him realise that you belong together and not apart.

Following these tips may help to convince your ex-boyfriend to get back together. Good luck.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

How To Get Ex Girlfriend Back She May Not Mean To Break Up

There is no question that women are dramatic. They often say or do things that they really don’t mean. Three fourths of the break ups are initiated by women. But, often they don’t really “mean” to break up. They are just being their normal drama queen selves. But, if you react to a break up badly, you may lose your girlfriend forever. So, here’s how to get ex girlfriend back.

First of all, give her some space. If you don’t call her, she may call you.

Give her a chance to learn what life without you is really like. She may not like staying in on a Saturday night. She may miss cuddling – or more.

By maintaining phone silence, you are also letting her know that you can live without her. She has to decide whether she wants you, because you are prepared to move on.

This is an important tactic in the how to get ex girlfriend back strategy because you may be dying to make up with her. Still, you must stay on the program.

Don’t make a dramatic gesture of your own. Don’t send flowers. Don’t send a long love letter. And, don’t stand under her window and sing!

If she hasn’t called you after a week or so, you need to initiate contact. Email her and casually ask how things are going. Try to keep things unemotional. You want to appear to be pursuing a “just friends” strategy.

If this isn’t enough, you may have to step things up. You can send her a text message, write on her facebook wall, or call her about once a week. Occasionally show up somewhere she hangs out. But don’t bug her. Be prepared to talk to other people.

Make sure that you remember the important dates in her life. You should always send a card or small gift on her birthday so she knows you are thinking about her during the day that belongs to her. If you have a meaningful anniversary, you might want to drop her a note telling her what it means to you. But keep it short and sweet.

If she hasn’t indicated that she’s ready to get back together with you after a month or so, you have to start thinking about the rest of your life. If you’ve learned that you can live without her, you may just want to look for a new girlfriend.

But if you still want to know how to get ex girlfriend back, you can step things up.

For instance, ask one of her friends out and then call her and ask her what kind of restaurant you should take the friend to on the date. This will get her thinking about whether she is ready to really let you go.

At this point, she may just make another dramatic gesture. She may say that she wants you back on whatever terms you set.

Most importantly, you should never “stalk” your ex girlfriend. Think of the song “I’ll Be Watching You” as a guide of things NOT to do. Being relaxed and casual about the future of your relationship is your best bet.

And, that’s how to get ex girlfriend back.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

How To Get Back With Ex

Are you thinking about ways how to get back with ex? Almost every adult on the planet has gone through a relationship break up at some point in their lives. Most of the time people simply move through the hurt and try to move on.

What these people don't realize is that around 90% of all relationship break ups could have been stopped and if they've already happened, then they can be reversed.

The first step in learning how to get back with your ex is to look objectively at why the break up happened. You won't be able to change the reasons why you broke up, but you should be objective enough to realize that it takes two. This means accepting responsibility for your part in the relationship, understanding what mistakes you might have made and learning from them.

Try to think about what specific attributes attracted your ex to you when you first met. This doesn't necessarily mean your looks. It means ask yourself what did you do back then that made him so happy to spend plenty of time in your company?

Compare this to the time you spent together just before the break up. Was he becoming distant, which made you want to hang onto him even tighter? Was he pulling away, which made you try hard to let him know how much you loved him? Perhaps you spent plenty of time analyzing the relationship in an effort to fix it before the break up happened.

Each of these things spells 'needy' to a male, yet the biggest thing that attracts most men to their partners is a happy, confident girl that makes them feel good to be around. Neediness can often push a man away from even the best relationship.

Work hard on regaining your confidence and your happiness. Remember, these are the things your ex fell in love with in the first place, and they're the same things that can make your ex fall in love with you all over again.

Men and women communicate very differently to each other. When a woman is trying to find out how to get back with her ex, she will attempt to get her ex to talk about what went wrong. She wants to analyze and fix whatever was broken in the relationship.

Men won't view this as a sign that it should be fixed or that you should get back together. They simply view it as being too needy and they will begin wondering how to find someone who makes their time spent together happy and fun again.

The next big positive step you can take to get back with your ex is to arrange to meet for a chat about the possibility of remaining in touch with each other. Don't be surprised if he's initially a little hesitant. After all, he'll be remembering only the reasons you broke up.

He'll need some gentle reminding about all the reasons he fell in love with you in order to make him realize you were one of the best things that had happened to him. Your gentle reminders should be to show him that you're happy and confident again, just like you were when he fell in love with you the first time. You shouldn't be yelling at him or blaming or accusing and you shouldn't be telling him all the good things you did. These things don't work. Simply allow him to see the happy, confident, independent person that swept him off his feet and his feelings will begin to re-emerge all on their own. Then you'll have a strong foundation for how to get back with your ex.

Monday, August 2, 2010

How Do I Get Back With Ex Husband

Divorce. Yuck! Now that you've gone through that hell on Earth you may be starting to think that the whole thing was a huge mistake. If you want to know how to get back with ex husband this article can help.

If you went to a therapist after your divorce and asked how to get back with your ex one of the first things they would probably do is ask you why you wanted to take them back.

That is a good question. If you have had time to honestly evaluate your marriage and have come to the conclusion that you ended it too soon without trying hard enough to save it then that's one thing.

But if you, like so many others, are just now facing the fear and uncertainty of being newly single and are starting to think being in a bad marriage is better than being alone you really need to find some help to get over the feelings of loneliness and depression before you do something you'll regret.

If you're positive that getting back with your ex is the best thing for both of you, here are a few simple steps you can follow:

1) Try to talk to him. Not yell or nag, but talk. And listen. Try to honestly and maturely discuss why the relationship ended. What misunderstandings took you so far away from one another.

If the two of you can honestly discuss how you're feeling, without recriminations, than you might actually see that you're not that far apart after all. You have just been coming at it from opposite directions.

2) Take some time to honestly evaluate what part you played in the deterioration of your marriage. No one is ever completely blameless. What was your part and are you willing to change whatever behavior it was that contributed to the breakup?

3) Try to find resources that will help the two of you communicate. So many couples just have a hard time expressing themselves and listening to their partners. If you can find a way to work around this you might have a shot at not only getting back with your ex but also of making your marriage what you'd truly like it to be.

Divorce is one of the ugliest and most difficult things we can go through. If you've come to the conclusion that yours was a mistake and you want to know how to get back with ex husband then following these tips will be a good first step in the right direction.

Friday, July 30, 2010

How To Build Trust In A Relationship

Building trust in a relationship can be very difficult depending on the circumstances. If one partner had an affair, then it may take several years to build trust in a relationship. It can be done and marriages survive affairs but it will take time. The person who had the affair will need to apologise to his/her partner and then be prepared for that person to learn to trust them again.

But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership. After all you are going to share your life with this other person so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:

1) Make sure your words and actions match. If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.

2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn't always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small or white lies, they will have less belief in you.

3)Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. Now I don't mean that you have to tell your new boyfriend or girlfriend your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open.

4) You need to have faith in your partner before expecting them to return that trust. If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.

5) Don't be unrealistic. All relationships have issues even those that have been happily married for 50 years. You need to accept that being part of a couple means that you take the good times and the bad. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.

6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. You have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognise these similar values.

All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in a relationship now to increase your chance of success.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - A Sure Fire Method

If you are someone that has had to suffer the sting of getting dumped by a boyfriend, you can trust that there are many around the world that feel your pain. Many right now are wondering exactly the same thing that you are.

If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, there is one thing that you must understand right now. While you might definitely be able to get your lover back after time spent apart, what you need to realize right now is that there might be a chance that it never happens. There are many old clichés about love, but a lot of them do apply to situations where people have had love denied to them by someone that used to be integral to their lives. The best thing that you can do for your life is prepare yourself to move on if it turns out that your ex is gone for good. This is the healthiest solution for anyone of any gender in the situation of pursuing an ex.

If you’re determined to have your ex back and understand the risks mentioned above, here are some things that you can do in order to make that work.

For starters, the thing you must not do if you want to properly execute the plan is pester your ex. You wanted to know how to get your ex boyfriend back and this is exactly what the answer to that question is. The more you pester your former love, the more they will pull away from you. If you ever want to see them back in your life as that special someone, you need to give them breathing room and make them realize just how desirable you are. If they don’t make that realization, you will never have that connection with them again.

What’s the best way to help them along to this realization? Really, it is just to make yourself into a person that is very desirable. The good news here is that since your ex by definition already had to have been in a relationship with you before, they must find you desirable on some level. So the only work you need to do is make sure that you live generally happily and that you are warm and outgoing to others when you are in the presence of your ex. The more they see that you seem to have adjusted healthily to life without them, the more likely they are to want to be in your life again.

The same is true for when you manage to get a date with your ex once more. Many people at this point would be tempted to shift all the way back into relationship mode. That is a disaster that you must avoid at all costs. Continue with the plan and you’ll have the best chance of producing the results that you want. This is not a sure method for getting your ex lover back, but it is definitely the one that has the best odds of working.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

How To Be An Amazing Girlfriend Without Being Wonder Woman

The good news is that it is fairly simple to answer how to be an amazing girlfriend. You just need to know certain tricks and soon he will worship the ground you walk on.

Often when we get involved with a man, we start to become comfortable. We stop dressing as well as we once did and leave waxing and other grooming a little bit longer than we should. This is the first step to being amazing. You never want him to see you looking anything other than your best. Yes ladies this means that the fluffy nightwear stays firmly in the closest and the sexy black negligee is neatly folded under the pillow.

This brings us to the next step. You have to have a very active and interesting sex life in order to gain the amazing girlfriend award. Seriously now is the time to be reading Karma Sutra cover to cover and putting some of the easier moves into practice. Men love a great time in bed but they like it even better when they turn their partner on so if he does make it obvious. Yes think the dinner scene from when Harry met Sally! Initiate sex and be open to trying different techniques and positions. Obviously you shouldn't do anything you are uncomfortable with but forget the missionary position every night. That's predictable and boring and doesn't merit the description of amazing.

Let you man out with his friends and don't call or text to find out where he is or who he is with. Men hate clingy insecure women. They don't mind you being a little jealous if some glamour puss flirts with him but they expect you to trust them when they are on a night out.

If you want to be a permanent fixture in your man's life, you need to treat his family and friends with respect. Sure they may not be the people you would chose to socialize with. I am guessing if you were honest, some of your own family wouldn't meet this criteria either. Your man's family will be important to him. In fact you should have already checked how he treats his mum as that is a good indication of how he will treat you in years to come.

It may be easy to answer the question how to be an amazing girlfriend but I am not saying that it will always be easy to put it into practice. But if you master at least some of these techniques you have more chance of moving onto the next step in your relationship. If you think that this is all too much effort, you may just find that your man has plenty of other female friends just waiting for the chance to prove they have what it takes to be an amazing girlfriend.

If you love this man and want to be walking down the street holding hands when you are in your twilight years, you need to take action now. Go on - what have you got to lose?

Saturday, July 24, 2010

How To Get Over Girl

Many girls dump their boyfriends and don’t give any real reason. They have the urge to purge and drop their lover without him doing anything to her. Sometimes they want to get back together right away, but other times, they move on leaving you to hold the bag. This article will discuss how to get over girl.

First of all, you should understand that you are not alone. Most men fear being dumped by a serious lover than being rejected in the early stages of dating. This is because the bonds men form with the women they are dating are important to them. Sometimes it seems that the men see them as more important than the women do despite all of the literature directed toward women about relationships.

To get over girl, you need to stop adoring her. Don’t put her up on a pedestal like some kind of Greek Goddess. She has feet of clay which she exposed by dumping you when you did nothing wrong.

Don’t hold on to past memories of her. Get rid of the photos and momentos in your home that remind you of her. If you have some of her “stuff” get rid of it or give it back to her.

If you have entangled finances, sort them out so you can move on. This includes both joint banking accounts and settling debts you owe each other.

Don’t allow her to occupy the space in your mind that she had when you were together. She is part of the past and you have to live in the present and the future.

Close out all contact with your ex. Don’t call her “just to chat” or allow her to continue to email or text you. Instead, tell her that she called it quits and you want to start a new life without her in it.

This may make her want to pursue you even harder. Women are crazy that way. They want what they can’t have. If you are open to restarting the relationship, you can allow this communication to go on. But, if you want to start the healing process, she should be a persona non gratis in your life.

Don’t be afraid to express your feelings. Sometimes writing in a journal or writing music is sufficient. Other times, you’ll need a shoulder to lean on. If the situation is severe, consider getting short term counseling.

Finally, don’t mope around the house. Get back into the game. While you may not be ready to start dating again, you should go to the gym, play basketball with your buddies and go to a bar from time to time. Don’t stick around the house because you are too sad to go out.

If you have the opportunity to go out on a casual date, take advantage of it. Show the girl a good time, even if you’re not really that in to her. You will be more ready for a real relationship if you’ve kept up your dating skills.

That is how to get over girl.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

How To Be Sweet To Your Girlfriend And Still Be A Man

If you are asking how to be sweet to your girlfriend, it is a good sign that you want to keep her happy. Keeping a woman happy is not always easy but with a little work and effort, you will be fine.

So what can you do? Telling her you love her is one step but avoid over saying it as the words become meaningless. Try telling her in other ways such as leaving a note under her pillow or sending her a message when she is not expecting it. You could send her a card despite the fact it is not her birthday, your anniversary or any other special occasion. Make a list of all the reasons why you love her and stick it somewhere like inside her fridge or just inside the washing machine. She may not notice it for a few days but when she does she will light up like a candle.

Find a book of poetry and write her out a love poem. She will love it. When you are out and about, put your arm around her waist as it shows that you are proud to be seen with her. If she is upset, listen to her and try to reassure her without giving her the impression that you don't think she will be able to sort out the problem on her own.

Complement her not just when she has dressed up for a special occasion but when she is just lounging around relaxing. Find things that you love about her, her tousled hair, her long legs, the back of her neck etc and tell her how lovely she is. Girls love complements especially when they are not expected. If she is trying to lose pounds, tell her she looks really slim today.

Never put your girl down or make unkind remarks about her even in the middle of an argument. Sure, sometimes is it hard not to get personal but try your best. Apologize if you do say something hurtful and don't do it again.

Don't forget to tell her how happy she makes you and how much your life has improved with her in it. Arrange surprises for her. Take her to a chick flick or a musical or the theater even if you would prefer to have your eyeballs stapled. Doing things for the lady in your life will end up making you both happier. Shared memories make relationships stronger and help you both get through the bad days.

In case you run out of ideas on how to be sweet to your girlfriend, find a great book on relationships and read it. If you really love this woman you don't want to lose her over something silly. Women leave men for all sorts of reasons and cheating is only one of them. They leave if they feel unappreciated or taken for granted. Don't let this happen to you as great partners don't come around every day.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Healing Relationship Wounds

If you are facing the difficult task of healing relationship wounds you will need to be wiling to really invest some time and effort. You can fix your relationship but it won't necessarily be quick and easy, and you won't be able to do it all on your own.

There are many steps you will need to take to repair your broken relationship. A lot of what you will have to do will depend on what broke the relationship in the first place. It's usually not just one or two things and it usually takes a long time and a buildup of many smaller issues that eventually tear down your relationship.

Finding the cause of the break down is the first thing you will need to do in order to come up with a 'game plan' to fix it. You wouldn't expect your mechanic to fix your car without first knowing what was wrong with it, would you? The same principle applies to your relationship.

Not only will you need to figure out what went wrong you will need to honestly figure out what part you played in it. That can be very hard for most people. No one wants to admit they've been wrong or made mistakes. But you can't fix it until you know what is broken, so you will have to honestly, maybe brutally honestly, evaluate the way you've behaved in the relationship and what things you've done, or said, that might have contributed to the break down.

And yes, what you have said can play just a big a role in a broken relationship as what you've done. Never forget that words can wound and those wounds are often the hardest ones to heal.

Once you've figured out the mistakes you've made you will need to determine if you're wiling to invest the time needed to fix them. If you can't make a 100% commitment to changing your behavior than you might as well end the relationship right now. There's no point in dragging you and your partner through further pain.

Another thing you will need to honestly consider is whether or not your partner will be willing to work on the relationship too. No matter how sincere you are and motivated to make changes, it will take both of you working together to get things back to a good place. You can't do it all alone, and neither can your partner. If you aren't both committed to making it work, it's also time to move on.

Something else you will need to consider is that if you save your relationship it will never totally be 'back the way it used to be'. That doesn't mean it can't still be good, it can. It just means that whatever the two of you have gone through has left some scars, those will always be there.

Keep these things in mind when you are healing relationship wounds. If your relationship is truly worth saving, and your partner is willing to meet you half way and work on it, you can fix the relationship and even make it better than it was before, it'll just take some time...and lot's of love.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

How To Be A Confident Girlfriend Without Being Over Confident

How to be a confident girlfriend is something every woman needs to learn to be. There are very few men out there who like a woman who is lacking in self confidence. They tend to be needy and always need reassuring. This can be quite a turn off when it goes on for any length of time.

Sure we all have days when we feel awful. I am positive that even Carmen Electra wakes up some mornings feeling less than gorgeous but you do not need to tell the world about it. Men love confident women as they know that when they get them into bed, they won't be afraid to ask for what they want. Also confidence is power and some men love powerful women. But don't go overboard as confidence does not mean that you have to be arrogant. Yes there is a fine line but it is one that doesn't need to be crossed.

So how do you build your self esteem? You can do this in a number of ways but the most effective is to practice positive thinking. It is hard to feel low and ugly when you are walking around with a big smile on your face. Make a list of your good points and see how many things you have to feel grateful for. Be genuinely thankful for what you do have as then you may see even more of the positives that are already part of your life.

If you experienced something in your life that has affected your confidence then get some help. Counseling is a wonderful way of working through past demons and learning how to leave the past where it belongs i.e. behind you. You can't change what happened but you can change your reaction to these events and how it affects your future.

Fake it for a while. Pretend you are the most confident woman in the world. Your subconscious can't tell the difference between a lie and the truth so if you fake it for long enough, you will start believing and your self esteem levels will improve.

Ask your man why he is with you but not in a whiny type of way. You can ask him to tell you what he most loves about you? What he thinks your best assets are? Also choose your moment with care, this is not a post sex question.

Ask your friends to write down a list of your nicest characteristics. I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised at how people value you and what qualities they think you have. Practice being assertive and reward yourself for the successes you have achieved in life. If there is something you are really afraid of, why not try it today?

Perhaps you are afraid of heights, so try booking a hang gliding course. Ask your boyfriend to come with you. Maybe do it as a charity fundraiser. Once you face your fears and conquer them, you will no longer have to ask how to be a confident girlfriend. Your inner self confidence will shine like a beacon.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Heartbroken Songs Use Them To Get Back Together

Heartbroken songs are the perfect songs after you've broken up with the person that you love. You don't feel like listening to anything cheerier. In fact, some cheerier songs can only make things worse because you're reminded of the good times you had together. You may even try your hand at writing heartbroken songs after your break up.

Heartbroken songs are an old tradition, reaching back to probably the day man discovered music and singing. And to the day he discovered broken hearts. If you're not comfortable trying to come up with an entire song or you have trouble rhyming, you can always write a poem instead.

You can even write your ex a long letter in which you express yourself, if you feel a poem or song is just too hard or too far removed from that they would actually expect of you. But if you can make up a song that truly expresses how you feel then you should go for it.

If you've ever had someone write a poem or a song for you, you know how great it feels. So the idea that you would make up heartbroken songs might really move your ex to think about what's going on. They're sure to be touched in some say by the gesture, at least.

To write these songs, you only need to write poetry and then put it to music. You have to write the words, but you don't have to be able to write music. Just come up with a melody and sing the songs to that melody. If you can't come up with a melody of your own, then pick a melody from a favorite song and write new words for it.

Still, writing songs isn't for everyone. Fortunately there have been millions of them written for you already! You probably already have a few favorites that you like to listen to. Now they might have an entirely new meaning when you listen to them.

There's a good chance that your ex will find new meaning in them too, since you've broken up. You could burn a CD of several sad songs about break ups and send it to him or her with a letter. The thing that makes this so effective is that you'll very carefully choose the songs you include.

Just because a song is sad and about a breakup doesn't mean it's a good idea to include it. Really listen to the words and the sentiment behind them. Then choose songs that especially fit your situation.

I can really be effective to choose a few sad songs about the relationship being strained or ending, and include a really uplifting love song among them. If you have a special song as a couple, including that as the last song on the CD can remind your ex of happier times.

Heartbroken songs are there to help you heal, but if you use them correctly they may help you get back together with your ex.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

How To Be A Challenge To Your Girlfriend And Put Zing In Your Romance

Why are you wondering how to be a challenge to your girlfriend? Is it because you are afraid you are about to be dumped? Women often like their men to be a tough nut to crack. They seem to respect those men who are not afraid to live their life their way more than the man who agrees with everything they say. Sure they may complain their boyfriends are awkward but underneath they like it.

So how do you become a challenge? You can't take this too far or you will end up being dumped very quickly which I am guessing is not the result you are looking for. If you think your partner is taking you for granted, become a little less available. The next time she rings or texts to arrange last minute plans be unavailable. Have alternative arrangements in place even if it means you are washing your hair. She will slowly get the message that you have a life and while she is important to you, she may not be the axis your world turns on.

If you are always the one to initiate nights out, try taking a back seat and see what happens. Will she organize things instead or give you an ear bashing. If you send her flowers every week, skip one and see what her reaction is. I am not suggesting you start ignoring the woman in your life but if you have been acting like a doormat it is time to change. It is nice for a man to pay for dinner on the first date but you shouldn't always have to pay particularly if you have similar incomes. If you earn less than her, she should definitely be paying her way some of the time.

Arrange nights out with your own friends and go alone. Even people involved in a couple deserve a night out alone every so often. Your girlfriend may not like it but so long as you behave yourself why shouldn't you go without her.

You do not need to radically change your personality and become someone you are not. That will only make you uncomfortable. In answering how to be a challenge to your girlfriend, you are looking to make small changes to put the spice back into the relationship. If you always concentrate on her pleasure in the bedroom, start becoming a little more demanding. If you always initiate sex, take a back seat for a little while and let her worry about why you are not as eager as you once were.

Women do not like men behaving like puppies i.e. all eager to please and bouncing around the place. It may be fun for a little while but most girls will eventually get bored with your behavior as it is too predictable. A new man will come along who offers them a challenge and they will dump you. If you love this woman, you need to learn the secrets of a successful relationship and soon as otherwise you will be single again.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

How Do I Get My Wife To Come Back Home

It can be one of life's most difficult situations: a marriage falling apart. While it is important to try to honestly evaluate the problems in your marriage, and be willing to make reasonable changes to your unacceptable behavior, you still need to answer the question: 'how do i get my wife to come back home?' You can't even work on your relationship until she is home.

It's helpful if you have a 'game plan' for when your wife returns home. This isn't about manipulation or only paying lip service to making changes, it's about taking stock of the person you are and what areas of your personality and behavior you need to change. Remember you're not just making changes to keep your wife happy, you're making changes that need to be made for you to become a better person and a better husband.

Having given honest consideration to these things before your wife comes home will mean that you don't just repeat the same hurtful and destructive behaviors that caused her to leave in the first place. You don't want to have a relationship that is turbulent where you are constantly fighting about the same things. That type of relationship isn't good for anyone. Now that you have honestly accepted that there are some changes you will need to make, it's time to figure out how to get your wife to come home.

Here are some steps that can help you convince your wife that you still love her and there is hope for your relationship and that she should return home:

1. The first thing is to let her know that you've been honest with yourself and realize that there are things in your behavior that you are willing, and able, to change. Let her know that you are a sincere, mature man who wants to be a better man and a better husband and that you are willing to work on those things. If she has real reason to believe things can be different this time she'll be more likely to return home and give it a try.

2. Don't go into 'bachelor mode' and be a pig. Keep the house clean. Shower, shave, do the laundry, etc. Your wife sure isn't going to want to come home if she feels like she is just going to have to be the maid. No woman wants to have to be a mother to her own husband. Most woman want a friend, a partner, and a lover. Let her see that even though you miss her, you respect her enough to keep up with the housework even when you're on your own.

3. If you're wrong, admit it and apologize. Many men get caught up in the macho idea that apologizing is a sign of weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you screw up and admit it and apologize that is actually a sign of confidence, strength, and maturity.

Admitting when you are wrong and offering a sincere apology not only lets others know that you are a mature, confidant person, it also shows that you have respect for yourself and for them.

The reality is that people who won't apologize are actually very weak and insecure. They are too unsure of themselves to be able to admit they were wrong. When you're confidant enough in yourself to offer a sincere apology it shows that you are a strong, confidant individual...and that is sexy to any woman.

I hope these tips have given you some ideas on how to answer the question: "how do i get my wife to come back home?" The point is that if you truly want your marriage to work you need to be willing to work on your marriage. It takes two.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

How To Be A Sweet Girlfriend Without Being Mushy

If you are anything like me, you may have wondered how to be a sweet girlfriend. I am quite fiery and hot tempered so you wouldn't normally describe me as being sweet. But seemingly men like that and sometimes quite a lot.

So what do you need to do? You do not need to go as far as waiting for him at the front door when he comes home but it comes close. You need to show your man some affection and I don't mean in the bedroom although we will come to that later. Men like cuddles but only when appropriate, i.e. in private. Public displays of affection tend to embarrass them.

Try taking the initiative and spice up your sex life but subtly is the key. For example, if you know he is having a hard time at work, why not surprise him with a massage one evening. Light the candles, slip into something more comfortable and heat up the massage oil. The temperature is guaranteed to rise.

Cook him his favorite meal and clean up afterwards letting him have the night off. In other words spoil him to distraction although after a while he may wonder if you are up to something.

Tease him when you are out in public. If you are at a restaurant, give his hand a massage under the table and watch how he tries to hold his concentration on the conversation. Send him cheeky I owe you messages such as a promise to dress up in his favorite outfit or do something naughty to really turn him on.

Surprise him with a weekend away. Men love surprises too but often are expected to be the ones to arrange them. This way you are showing him you fully understand how to be a sweet girlfriend.

Show consideration to his mates. If you live together, invite them round one evening and leave them some beers, food and dips to enjoy with the game. Your man will be very impressed and his friends will be envious.

You may be reading this thinking that I have taken things too far but the fact is that if you don't learn how to be a sweet girlfriend at least some of the time you are unlikely to progress to being a wife. In fact your progression will probably be to the status of ex girlfriend. That of course is fine if you do want to lose the man in your life but seeing as you asked the question I am guessing that's not the case. If you have a history of not making relationships work, perhaps now you have discovered why.

Do yourself a favor and start practicing now before it is too late. It is a lot easier to try to impress your boyfriend than it is to impress your ex.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

How Long Can Things Go Without Getting Back Together

If you have any hope of reconciling with your ex, how long can things go without getting back together? There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Some people can be apart for years and eventually find each other again. We've all seen tales of people separated for decades to end up married in their old age.

Chances are, however, you don't want that sort of scenario. In fact, your biggest fear is probably that your ex will be away from you long enough to find someone else. Of course, this is a possibility. And it's a hard one to face, but you do need to look at it head on.

The best time to work on getting back together is right away after the breakup. But not so soon that everything is too raw. Give each other a little time to settle into your individual lives and get used to not being part of a couple.

This might seem like bad advice, as if you become separate people and it will be harder to get back together. But by taking care of yourself for a while and focusing on you, it makes you able to be better in a relationship, too. It can help you look at your life and decide if your ex is really the person that you want.

It's very common to be afraid of your ex doing this and deciding they don't want you. Unfortunately, that is one possibility. But look at it this way. If your ex goes through this period of time and decides they do want you, then your chances of getting back together much better. And your chances of staying together are much better, too.

If you spend some time apart and your ex decides not to get back with you, you need to just continue to be the best person you can. Your ex will come around or then maybe not. If not, as painful as it is to realize, you're probably much better off without that person.

And if during your time apart you decide that you don't want your ex back, then you've saved yourself another mistake. Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. So if a little time apart doesn't make you each want to be back together even more, than the breakup probably came with good reason.

A little time apart without the pressure of getting back together can help heal you both from certain situations. If there was an infidelity that caused the breakup, a little time and distance can make it sting a little bit less. It'll become easier for one to forgive the other.

So how long can things go without getting back together? It really depends on the situation and on each of you and how patient you are. It's a good test, to see if your future relationship can weather problems, too.

If one of you is impatient and tries to pressure the other at this delicate time, that's a good indication that you might have problems agreeing on other important issues in your relationship down the road.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back You Can You Know

Do you lie awake at night asking yourself over and over "how to get my ex boyfriend back"? Perhaps you broke up over something relatively silly and now realize that he was the love of your life.

Did he break up with you? Or did you finish the relationship but now regret it? If you were together for a long time, it is easy to take a good relationship for granted. We often don't realize what we have until it is gone.

If you are the only one of your friends in a long term relationship, you may have felt that you were missing out on the fun times and so wanted to be single. Or maybe the sexual side of your relationship had settled down and you felt a greater attraction to the cute bartender at your local club.

It is hard to keep the romance going in a relationship and often we forget what first attracted us to the men in our lives. There is also the factor that someone elses life is always more interesting. Why is it that the grass is always greener on the other side? You should never forget that appearances are deceptive and your beautiful next door neighbor's smile might be hiding a nightmare existence.

So now you have realized that the cute single guy is on his own for a reason and you want your ex boyfriend back. You are going to have to work hard to gain his trust again. After all, you probably hurt him quite badly by dumping him particularly if there was no real reason why other than you were bored.

Call him and ask him out to dinner. Wear his favorite clothes and perfume. In short, make a huge effort to remind him why he fell for you. Apologize for your behavior. Blame your hormones, your job, stress or your boss but do not put any of the blame on him. This is not the time to list out all the reasons why you were bored or fed up. You want to build his self esteem not destroy him.

Ask for a second chance. Remind him of all the great times you enjoyed together. Tell him that your time apart has made you realize that he is the only man you are interested in. Unless you know he wants marriage and kids, don't go too heavy on this tactic. Keep it light. Stroke his ego by letting him know how much you want him. Reassure him that you are 100% sure that this is what you want.

You have to be prepared to hear some home truths on what he thinks of your behavior. He will need answers to his questions and will probably need to let off some steam. Do not retaliate or get involved in trading insults. Listen to what he has to say!

After all if you want to know the answer to how to get my ex boyfriend back, you may just have to ask him.

How To Be A Better Girlfriend Before Danger Creeps In

How to be a better girlfriend is something us women ask a lot. When you initially get together it is easy to keep the spark alive. You have so much to explore and learn about each other and the sexual attraction should also be very strong. But when you have been together for a while, the initial lust factor has probably reduced somewhat and you know as much as there is to know. Life can get a little mundane and this is when danger can creep in. Most relationships break up due to lack of communication rather than a major problem like having an affair.

So you start wondering how to be a better girlfriend? Perhaps there are some good books you could read to help you spice up your love life. Or, if it is your thing, why not surprise him with a movie? You could make your own but don't go overboard as these things have a habit of reappearing when you least want them to. Just ask Paris Hilton!

Becoming a better lover is something we tend to leave to the men to worry about but it is a two way street. And for such a little word, sex can cause major problems for any couple. But it is not just about sex. There is an urban myth going around which seems to suggest that men don't do affection. While they may not do public displays, most love being cuddled or caressed in the comfort of their own homes.

Men like to be appreciated too. So why not think up a couple of things you could do for him. For example, you could try getting him seats to a game for him and a mate if it is not your thing. Not only are you telling him that you want him to enjoy himself but you also trust him to go out without you and have a great time. This is important as often men can feel trapped without us women realizing it. While we want to spend every minute with the man we love, often they couldn't imagine anything worse. It is not that they don't appreciate us but sometimes men need some space. Give him lots of this and he will happily nominate you for girlfriend of the year award.

Men also like their women to be respectful especially when around other men. Now don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting for a second that you head back to the 50's and have his pipe and slippers ready and waiting. What I mean is that they don't like their partner to put them down when their friends are around, or to act coarse and unladylike. It is never attractive when a woman acts like a dockworker but it is even worse when you do so in front of an audience.

So stop wondering how to be a better girlfriend and go apply these tips. If you are still concerned it would be worth investing in some additional relationship coaching to make sure you keep yours in tip top condition.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Guy Advice On Healing A Relationship

If you're struggling to keep your relationship with your wife or girlfriend from falling apart you will need guy advice on healing a relationship. You may want to talk to your buddies, but the truth is they probably don't know any more than you do. Instead read this article for some good advice on repairing your broken relationship.

There are two phrases that should be the building blocks to repairing your relationship: "I'm sorry" and/or "I was wrong". Neither one will mean a thing if they aren't sincere. The first thing you have to do to heal your relationship is to be a man and own up to your part in the problems.

Many men seem to think that apologizing is a sign of weakness. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. If you think about it, one of the hardest things you will ever do is to admit you were wrong and that you caused someone else's pain, especially someone you love. That is a hard thing to do. So apologizing isn't a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of being a man and being strong.

In some ways it might seem easier to just bury your feelings and don't admit that you were wrong or that you are in pain. Again, a very 'manly' thing to do. But is it? While that might be the first thing many men will do, it's not the easiest in the long run. If you bury those feelings you will never truly be free of them. They will jump up and haunt you when you least expect it. No matter how painful it is you need to face them and get over them once and for all. That's the only real way you can have peace for the rest of your life.

So if you want to heal your relationship you need to honestly access your part in the breakdown of the relationship. Were you inattentive, did you take your wife for granted, did you stop making her feel special and loved?

There's a seen in the movie "The Breakup" where Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are fighting. She had just put in a long day at work and hosted a dinner party and wanted his help to clean up. She said to him " I want you to want to do the dishes" and, of course, his response was "Why would I want to help you do the dishes"? A valid question. Sort of.

I doubt that character really thought she wanted him to want to do the dishes. What she really wanted was for him to understand that she was tired and wanted to relax too. She wanted him to show his appreciation of all she does by helping her and taking some of the burden off of her shoulders.

Are you guilty of pretending to be 'stupid'. Pretending like you don't really know what your wife wants? Many men fall into that trap, just like in the movie. They know what their wife is trying to say, they just choose to pretend like they don't because it seems easier than actually helping. It's selfish. And it will lead to long term problems. This all goes back to what I was talking about above: making your wife feel appreciated.

The good news is that if you've made some mistakes in the past you can change and become a better man. You can become the kind of man that you can be proud of and that she can love and respect. Use this guy advice on healing a relationship as a starting point and you can not only save your relationship but improve it too.

Have Fun - Do A Marriage Quiz Today

If you want some light entertainment one evening why not do a marriage quiz together? These tests are designed to be a bit of fun but sometimes they can be used for other purposes. Some people will use them to sort out the problems in their relationship which is rather unrealistic unless both of you have taken a truth drug. For example, if you are both in a loving mood then you will score highly on these tests as you will both be open to the suggestions that your partner is wonderful. However if he is less than Romeo in your eyes or she resembles your mother in law more than the wife you married, you can get all the wrong results. For example, they can be used to check compatibility, although one could argue that it is a bit late checking that when you are already married!

So you have been warned, what can start as a game can quickly turn into an argument if you have underlying issues already. So if you two have been fighting a lot lately perhaps this is not the type of fun you should engage in. But that being said, they can be a useful way to open up a discussion particularly if you find it difficult to talk about your problems. You may find that the quiz opens up some doors to better communication between you. If you want to start talking about a difficult topic you might want to introduce a quiz as an idea for an activity that both of you can do together when the kids have gone to bed. Just be careful as these things can spiral out of control very quickly if either partner takes offence easily.

Where can you find these marriage quizzes? They regularly appear in magazines and are also available online. But if you are having problems in your relationship this is the not the way to resolve them. You need to get some help whether you try a relationship counseling service or some self help books and courses. If you are not sure where to start you could try the Magic Of Making Up which helps to develop proper communication between spouses and partners. Sometimes it can seem like men and women are from two different planets. They often want the same things but are not sure how to put this into words.

Every couple have days where they argue constantly and appear to have lost all love for one another. It is only when these days outnumber the good ones that you need to be concerned. A marriage quiz is meant as a bit of fun and we all need some fun and light entertainment in our lives particularly if we are going through stressful times. One of the best ways of keeping your relationship alive is to laugh together. Try renting an old funny movie or doing a quiz. Whatever works for you.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

How Can I Get My Husband To Fall In Love With Me Again

Whether you feel that you're in a loveless marriage or your marriage has taken a nose dive, you many be asking yourself "How can I get my husband to fall in love with me again? This article will address some ways that can help you win back the heart of your husband (if you've really lost it, that is).

If you happen to be in what you feel is a "loveless marriage", you should understand that if your husband is there, he probably still does love you. "Falling out of love" is a term that is often applied to hum-drum marriages but what it frequently means from the man's point of view is that he has fallen out of love with the way the marriage is going. Your husband may have pulled away from you because he is not happy but can offer no more detailed explanation for his feelings. Men have a hard time accurately interpreting and then communicating what they are feeling. Even if they can't put words to it, what they are often feeling is the relationship doesn't make them feel good about themselves anymore.

When you first started your relationship, you were both putting your best foot forward and putting a lot of time and effort into making the other person feel good about you and about themselves.

So your relationship became stronger and both you and your husband felt wanted, important, interesting and competent, just to name a few. For men, these feelings are what makes him feel like he is in love. So, it's important to understand that when your husband says (or you think) he doesn't love you anymore, that might not be true. It's very likely that he's actually mourning the loss of the relationship that made him feel so great about himself.

So, now that you know this. . .what can you do? First, you get it all out. Tell your husband that you are feeling a distance in your marriage and you miss the closeness and intimacy that you both once enjoyed. Ask him if he wants to improve your marriage. This could scare him because he thinks it will take a lot of work but don't worry about that. The goal here is to communicate your desire to your husband.

Then you show him that he'll probably like what you have in mind. Define what you miss in your relationship. If that happens to be more affection, then show more real affection to your husband. If you want more appreciation, let him know you appreciate him first. Sure, you have to take the first steps, but in time, you'll see that he responds. It's not unusual in the beginning that your husband will just look at you funny or totally reject your attempts. This will probably be hard on your ego but don't give up! You'll see in time that you've found the answer to "How can I get my husband to fall in love with me again?"

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

How To Get A Guy Back After A Breakup

Are you sure that you want to get your guy back after a breakup? It can be hard to know exactly how you feel in the days following the breakdown of your relationship. Feelings of loneliness and wounded pride can be confused with real love. It is always a good idea to try and analyse your relationship and why it failed. If the reason is that long term you are not compatible then do yourself a favor and move onto the next guy. You and your ex deserve to be happy but this does not necessarily mean that will be as a couple.

But if you are genuinely pining for him try these tips:

1) Never stalk a guy to get back with him. He won't find it flattering but will think you have lost your mental capacity. You need to project a confident image even if your insides resemble melting ice-cream.

2) Always look your best whenever you go out. As Helena Rubenstein once said, there is no such thing as an ugly woman, only lazy ones. Now is not the time to let yourself go. Get your hair done, always wear make up and wear the clothes that show off your body in the best light. Don't change your image. He fell for you the way you are so now is not the time to change.

3) Try to determine why you were dumped. Did you behave badly? If you did, then you need to apologise and do this properly. Men have feelings too although they usually manage to hide them better than women.

4) Did you play too many games? I don't know what it is about us women but for some reason we sometimes treat relationships as if they were a game of Chess. If I do this, he will do that approach doesn’t work in most cases and men, like all human beings, do not like being played. Honesty is always the best policy. If you have been playing games as you were trying to see if your feelings were returned, then just ask him out straight. Most men like the direct approach - they are not very good at reading signs and subtle hints.

If you do get back together, make sure that you have sorted out the problems that caused the break up in the first place. Failure to do so just means that you are postponing your heartache. If you are looking to spend your life with this guy you need to be sure that you are compatible in all areas. While sexual attraction is fantastic and in my view a necessary part of every good relationship it isn’t the only thing that matters. Mutual respect, appreciation and shared values go a long way to avoiding having to deal once again with the question of how to get a guy back after a break up.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Help Prevent Marriage Failure

If you are worried about marriage failure, you must sense that all is not rosy in your own love affair. Don't panic, as most marriages go through periods where it seems that the divorce courts are getting nearer but it doesn't have to end this way.

If you have children, you need to get a babysitter. Make a date with your husband away from your home. Go to a restaurant or bar as being in public reduces the risk of your conversation turning into a full scale row. However, leave the booze alone unless of course you have something to celebrate at the end of the day. It is difficult enough to discuss the issues or problems you are facing in your relationship without having an alcohol induced haze to fight as well.

It is important to take this discussion to neutral territory for a number of reasons. For one thing you have a duty to protect your kids from seeing the worst of the arguments between mom and dad. Now don't get me wrong. Your children will benefit from seeing their parents have mutual disagreements as that is life - bringing kids up to believe that the world is a happy place all the time is just silly and in the long term detrimental to their well being. But you need to show them that married couples can argue and remain happily involved. They can disagree but come to a solution together without getting abusive or making appointments with divorce lawyers.

Before you go to this date make a list of all the things you love about your partner and all the things that drive you nuts. Hopefully the first list will be longer! Also try reading a couple of self help relationship counseling books as these can really help you to put things into perspective. I highly recommend reading the Magic of Making Up as it has saved countless marriages and relationships.

When you do go on your date, be careful how you approach your other half. If you start the evening off with "I hate it when" or "look at this list I made of all the reasons you annoy me" you are doomed to failure. You don't want to attack your partner. Ok, you may be angry and you may even have plenty of justification for being very angry but think about what you are trying to achieve.

You do not want your relationship to be another marriage failure statistic. Virtually any relationship can be saved if both parties want it to happen. You may have to persuade your partner that it is worth saving what you have. You will both have to work hard and the next few months may well be the most difficult you have yet encountered in the history of your relationship. But when you get through it you will find that your marriage is stronger and happier than it ever was. Now isn't that worth fighting for?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

How To Avoid Break Up Letters And Stay Together

Nobody likes to receive a "Dear John" letter, phone call and thanks to technology; a "Dear John" text message (is that cruel or what?). The good news is that you can avoid getting break up letters and messages.

Quite simply you need to work hard at your relationship and treat your partner with love and respect. Always make time for them no matter how busy your life becomes.

We all get carried away sometimes. We can spend too much time at the office or with our children or sorting out our friend’s problems. Meanwhile our significant other can feel neglected and this can lead them to breaking up with us.

Can you avoid this happening? Sure and it is often very easy. Becoming aware that you may be guilty of not putting your lover first will help. You can start showing them how you feel about them. Spend some quality time together and tell them how much they mean to you. Simple gestures work wonders and you don't even need to spend cash. Take the kids out for the day and let her have some time to herself. Or take him breakfast in bed. Think about things they love to do and surprise them.

Make sure you find time to compliment your other half so that they know how you feel. Often communication between the sexes can become strained and rather difficult. In fact some people say that it is like trying to have a conversation between two alien species. You need to make an effort as otherwise you could find yourself dumped in favour of someone who will.

The keys to a successful relationship are love, mutual respect and showing consideration. No partnership will survive without all three being present. The love bit is relatively easy! Showing mutual respect should be quite simple but we often put our partners down without realising we are doing it. We may watch TV when they are talking to us or we could have a laugh with our friends at their expense. We may even forget important events such as their birthday or some anniversary.

Showing consideration to others means we have to be a little less selfish. It can be difficult when you have kids or a demanding career or both to find time for yourself never mind someone else. Being a couple means finding extra time even if that necessitates setting the alarm clock for thirty minutes earlier.

Don’t confuse having a successful partnership with being a doormat. All couples argue and it is completely unnatural to expect otherwise. But it is how they argue that is important. When you do have an argument, you still need to treat your partner respectfully. Don’t use bad language or physical violence. Try to remain calm and listen to the other person’s side. Never bring up past events or disagreements. Focus on the issue that is causing the problem today and work on resolving it. And then go and enjoy making up.

Follow these tips and you should avoid the dreaded break up letters and messages.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

How Can I Get My Ex-Girlfriend To Come Back To Me - The Age Old Question

How can I get my ex girlfriend to come back to me is a question guys often ask after they realise they have made a huge mistake. Guys get bored easily and often believe that the grass is greener elsewhere. They see their single friends having fun every night and feel that they are missing out. So they dump their girlfriend and decide to go off and have some fun.

But after a couple of weeks or months leading the glorious single lifestyle, they soon come to realise that their friends are lonely and would do anything to find a lovely long term girlfriend. Their friends may even have been jealous of their relationship and that is the reason why they encouraged the break up. It is not uncommon for a guy to find out that his so called friends asked his ex girlfriend out shortly after they broke up.

Is any of this sounding true to you? Have you made the same mistake? Or perhaps you dumped your partner because you were scared of the feelings she was evoking in you. Perhaps this is the first time you have thought of settling down and having children and that made you head for the hills. This is fairly common thing to do, as men are generally not used to speaking out about their feelings. So how do you get your ex-girlfriend to take you back into her life and her bed; if you see yourself in any of the above.

Whether you are successful in getting your ex back will depend on how she feels about you. If you were the love of her life and this is the first time you have broken up, she may forgive you. But if you are in the habit of finishing with her regularly she may not be so forgiving and you will have to work harder to convince her.

Write to your girlfriend and tell her how you feel. Apologise for how you behaved and explain that you want her back. An old fashioned love letter will work ten times better than texting, phoning, flowers or chocolates. Why? Your woman will be amazed that you have taken the effort to do this.

Most people these days have no idea how to write a proper letter. Go out and buy some nice paper and a pen. In the letter, apologise and ask her to go back out with you. Tell her you love her and miss her and remind her of the great times you two shared together.

After you send your letter, ask your ex out on a proper date. Take her to a fancy restaurant and lay on all the trimmings. Flatter her but mean it sincerely. Don't get creepy as that will freak her out.

Take things slowly and at her pace. Lay your feelings on the line and you may no longer have to ask how can I get my ex-girlfriend to come back to me.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

How Can I Save Our Relationship- Is It Even Possible

I'm sorry. If you're reading this you must be having a very rough time in your relationship. I know how difficult that can be. If you are asking, 'How can I save our relationship?" I do have some tips that might be able to make a difference for you and your partner.

There are a few things you have to consider very carefully and honestly first. You have to decide why you want to save your relationship. That might sound like a dumb comment to make but sometimes we cling to things that we should just let go. We cling for the wrong reasons such as fear of being alone. Before you invest too much time and emotion in trying to save your relationship first make sure that it should be saved.

Now that you've done your honest soul searching and you've decided that your relationship is worth saving here are a few tips you can follow which should help:

1) It's not all about you. So often in relationships one person tends to carry more of the burden. They are the 'fixer'. They are the ones who carry most of the emotional baggage. If that person is you than you have to realize that you can't do it all. If your relationship is going to be saved your partner has to be able, and willing, to meet you halfway.

2) Try to communicate without condemning or criticizing. When a relationship starts to falter there are a lot of hurt feelings and frustrations from both parties. These hurts can build up into a huge wall of resentment. That wall is very tough to tear down. It will take a lot of time, patience, and open communication.

If the two of you aren't good at communicating you might need to find resources such as a book or counseling, that can help you work on your communication skills.

3) Own it. If you've screwed up you need to be a mature adult and admit your mistake and apologize for it. This is key. Remember in step 2 when I talked about resentments building up? You can do a lot to ease those resentments if you just own up to your mistakes and offer a sincere apology for the hurt you may have caused. To someone who loves you and wants to make things work this will be a very sweet sound.

Follow these 3 steps and you will be well on your way to answering the question " how can i save our relationship?". Remember, the problems didn't spring up overnight and they're not going to go away overnight either. But if the two of you are willing to work together you can get back the loving, fulfilling relationship you both want.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

How To Escape The Final Stages Of Breaking Up

As we know very few people suddenly break up. There is usually a series of stages of breaking up that all couples go through. If it comes as a shock, you probably have the reason why you were dumped. You weren’t paying attention to what was happening between you and your partner. Otherwise you would have spotted he/she wasn’t happy, was ignoring you and doing their best not to spend time with you.

We all get caught up in our own thing from time to time and this isn’t usually a problem. But when your partner sees less of you than your friends and other family,it can highlight an issue in your relationship. If you do spend time together but are always fighting, you need to stop and break that cycle. Constant arguing achieves nothing and although initially it is fun making up, it can come to a point where you don’t bother trying.

Does your partner trust you? Do you trust them? Lack of trust is also a symptom of a partnership in trouble. If you always second guess your lover or expect to know where they are all the time, they will soon see that this isn’t love and may move on. If you are behaving like this, you need to stop right now. Unless your spouse has given you reason not to trust them, you should believe in them and have faith that they will do the right thing.

Are you on the same wavelength as your other half? Do they share your happy feelings and commiserate when you are down or feeling low? Couples who instinctively, know how the other is feeling, will overcome most of the hurdles that life can throw at us.

Does your lover share your interests and hobbies? If she has made an effort to get involved, this is a sign that she really cares about you. No-one expects her to join you for your 5am fishing trips but if she seems interested in listening to your stories about what you caught, what size it was, that is a good sign.

Your partner may have asked for a trial separation. Ok, so sometimes this is just an easy way of saying “you are dumped but I can’t say that!” But it doesn’t always have to mean this. Things can go wrong between two people and only time apart will help them to resolve the issues.

So if your lover does suggest this, agree but ask that they come to counselling with you. Show them that you do not want the relationship to end as they mean too much to you. Try not to put pressure on them and do not resort to emotional blackmail. You cannot force someone to love you but you can turn a bad situation into something a lot worse by appearing desperate or manipulative.

True love is based on understanding and respect. Showing your partner that you know this is a great way to avoid the final stages of breaking up.