Friday, July 30, 2010

How To Build Trust In A Relationship

Building trust in a relationship can be very difficult depending on the circumstances. If one partner had an affair, then it may take several years to build trust in a relationship. It can be done and marriages survive affairs but it will take time. The person who had the affair will need to apologise to his/her partner and then be prepared for that person to learn to trust them again.

But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership. After all you are going to share your life with this other person so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:

1) Make sure your words and actions match. If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.

2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn't always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small or white lies, they will have less belief in you.

3)Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. Now I don't mean that you have to tell your new boyfriend or girlfriend your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open.

4) You need to have faith in your partner before expecting them to return that trust. If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.

5) Don't be unrealistic. All relationships have issues even those that have been happily married for 50 years. You need to accept that being part of a couple means that you take the good times and the bad. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.

6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. You have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognise these similar values.

All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in a relationship now to increase your chance of success.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - A Sure Fire Method

If you are someone that has had to suffer the sting of getting dumped by a boyfriend, you can trust that there are many around the world that feel your pain. Many right now are wondering exactly the same thing that you are.

If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, there is one thing that you must understand right now. While you might definitely be able to get your lover back after time spent apart, what you need to realize right now is that there might be a chance that it never happens. There are many old clichés about love, but a lot of them do apply to situations where people have had love denied to them by someone that used to be integral to their lives. The best thing that you can do for your life is prepare yourself to move on if it turns out that your ex is gone for good. This is the healthiest solution for anyone of any gender in the situation of pursuing an ex.

If you’re determined to have your ex back and understand the risks mentioned above, here are some things that you can do in order to make that work.

For starters, the thing you must not do if you want to properly execute the plan is pester your ex. You wanted to know how to get your ex boyfriend back and this is exactly what the answer to that question is. The more you pester your former love, the more they will pull away from you. If you ever want to see them back in your life as that special someone, you need to give them breathing room and make them realize just how desirable you are. If they don’t make that realization, you will never have that connection with them again.

What’s the best way to help them along to this realization? Really, it is just to make yourself into a person that is very desirable. The good news here is that since your ex by definition already had to have been in a relationship with you before, they must find you desirable on some level. So the only work you need to do is make sure that you live generally happily and that you are warm and outgoing to others when you are in the presence of your ex. The more they see that you seem to have adjusted healthily to life without them, the more likely they are to want to be in your life again.

The same is true for when you manage to get a date with your ex once more. Many people at this point would be tempted to shift all the way back into relationship mode. That is a disaster that you must avoid at all costs. Continue with the plan and you’ll have the best chance of producing the results that you want. This is not a sure method for getting your ex lover back, but it is definitely the one that has the best odds of working.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

How To Be An Amazing Girlfriend Without Being Wonder Woman

The good news is that it is fairly simple to answer how to be an amazing girlfriend. You just need to know certain tricks and soon he will worship the ground you walk on.

Often when we get involved with a man, we start to become comfortable. We stop dressing as well as we once did and leave waxing and other grooming a little bit longer than we should. This is the first step to being amazing. You never want him to see you looking anything other than your best. Yes ladies this means that the fluffy nightwear stays firmly in the closest and the sexy black negligee is neatly folded under the pillow.

This brings us to the next step. You have to have a very active and interesting sex life in order to gain the amazing girlfriend award. Seriously now is the time to be reading Karma Sutra cover to cover and putting some of the easier moves into practice. Men love a great time in bed but they like it even better when they turn their partner on so if he does make it obvious. Yes think the dinner scene from when Harry met Sally! Initiate sex and be open to trying different techniques and positions. Obviously you shouldn't do anything you are uncomfortable with but forget the missionary position every night. That's predictable and boring and doesn't merit the description of amazing.

Let you man out with his friends and don't call or text to find out where he is or who he is with. Men hate clingy insecure women. They don't mind you being a little jealous if some glamour puss flirts with him but they expect you to trust them when they are on a night out.

If you want to be a permanent fixture in your man's life, you need to treat his family and friends with respect. Sure they may not be the people you would chose to socialize with. I am guessing if you were honest, some of your own family wouldn't meet this criteria either. Your man's family will be important to him. In fact you should have already checked how he treats his mum as that is a good indication of how he will treat you in years to come.

It may be easy to answer the question how to be an amazing girlfriend but I am not saying that it will always be easy to put it into practice. But if you master at least some of these techniques you have more chance of moving onto the next step in your relationship. If you think that this is all too much effort, you may just find that your man has plenty of other female friends just waiting for the chance to prove they have what it takes to be an amazing girlfriend.

If you love this man and want to be walking down the street holding hands when you are in your twilight years, you need to take action now. Go on - what have you got to lose?

Saturday, July 24, 2010

How To Get Over Girl

Many girls dump their boyfriends and don’t give any real reason. They have the urge to purge and drop their lover without him doing anything to her. Sometimes they want to get back together right away, but other times, they move on leaving you to hold the bag. This article will discuss how to get over girl.

First of all, you should understand that you are not alone. Most men fear being dumped by a serious lover than being rejected in the early stages of dating. This is because the bonds men form with the women they are dating are important to them. Sometimes it seems that the men see them as more important than the women do despite all of the literature directed toward women about relationships.

To get over girl, you need to stop adoring her. Don’t put her up on a pedestal like some kind of Greek Goddess. She has feet of clay which she exposed by dumping you when you did nothing wrong.

Don’t hold on to past memories of her. Get rid of the photos and momentos in your home that remind you of her. If you have some of her “stuff” get rid of it or give it back to her.

If you have entangled finances, sort them out so you can move on. This includes both joint banking accounts and settling debts you owe each other.

Don’t allow her to occupy the space in your mind that she had when you were together. She is part of the past and you have to live in the present and the future.

Close out all contact with your ex. Don’t call her “just to chat” or allow her to continue to email or text you. Instead, tell her that she called it quits and you want to start a new life without her in it.

This may make her want to pursue you even harder. Women are crazy that way. They want what they can’t have. If you are open to restarting the relationship, you can allow this communication to go on. But, if you want to start the healing process, she should be a persona non gratis in your life.

Don’t be afraid to express your feelings. Sometimes writing in a journal or writing music is sufficient. Other times, you’ll need a shoulder to lean on. If the situation is severe, consider getting short term counseling.

Finally, don’t mope around the house. Get back into the game. While you may not be ready to start dating again, you should go to the gym, play basketball with your buddies and go to a bar from time to time. Don’t stick around the house because you are too sad to go out.

If you have the opportunity to go out on a casual date, take advantage of it. Show the girl a good time, even if you’re not really that in to her. You will be more ready for a real relationship if you’ve kept up your dating skills.

That is how to get over girl.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

How To Be Sweet To Your Girlfriend And Still Be A Man

If you are asking how to be sweet to your girlfriend, it is a good sign that you want to keep her happy. Keeping a woman happy is not always easy but with a little work and effort, you will be fine.

So what can you do? Telling her you love her is one step but avoid over saying it as the words become meaningless. Try telling her in other ways such as leaving a note under her pillow or sending her a message when she is not expecting it. You could send her a card despite the fact it is not her birthday, your anniversary or any other special occasion. Make a list of all the reasons why you love her and stick it somewhere like inside her fridge or just inside the washing machine. She may not notice it for a few days but when she does she will light up like a candle.

Find a book of poetry and write her out a love poem. She will love it. When you are out and about, put your arm around her waist as it shows that you are proud to be seen with her. If she is upset, listen to her and try to reassure her without giving her the impression that you don't think she will be able to sort out the problem on her own.

Complement her not just when she has dressed up for a special occasion but when she is just lounging around relaxing. Find things that you love about her, her tousled hair, her long legs, the back of her neck etc and tell her how lovely she is. Girls love complements especially when they are not expected. If she is trying to lose pounds, tell her she looks really slim today.

Never put your girl down or make unkind remarks about her even in the middle of an argument. Sure, sometimes is it hard not to get personal but try your best. Apologize if you do say something hurtful and don't do it again.

Don't forget to tell her how happy she makes you and how much your life has improved with her in it. Arrange surprises for her. Take her to a chick flick or a musical or the theater even if you would prefer to have your eyeballs stapled. Doing things for the lady in your life will end up making you both happier. Shared memories make relationships stronger and help you both get through the bad days.

In case you run out of ideas on how to be sweet to your girlfriend, find a great book on relationships and read it. If you really love this woman you don't want to lose her over something silly. Women leave men for all sorts of reasons and cheating is only one of them. They leave if they feel unappreciated or taken for granted. Don't let this happen to you as great partners don't come around every day.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Healing Relationship Wounds

If you are facing the difficult task of healing relationship wounds you will need to be wiling to really invest some time and effort. You can fix your relationship but it won't necessarily be quick and easy, and you won't be able to do it all on your own.

There are many steps you will need to take to repair your broken relationship. A lot of what you will have to do will depend on what broke the relationship in the first place. It's usually not just one or two things and it usually takes a long time and a buildup of many smaller issues that eventually tear down your relationship.

Finding the cause of the break down is the first thing you will need to do in order to come up with a 'game plan' to fix it. You wouldn't expect your mechanic to fix your car without first knowing what was wrong with it, would you? The same principle applies to your relationship.

Not only will you need to figure out what went wrong you will need to honestly figure out what part you played in it. That can be very hard for most people. No one wants to admit they've been wrong or made mistakes. But you can't fix it until you know what is broken, so you will have to honestly, maybe brutally honestly, evaluate the way you've behaved in the relationship and what things you've done, or said, that might have contributed to the break down.

And yes, what you have said can play just a big a role in a broken relationship as what you've done. Never forget that words can wound and those wounds are often the hardest ones to heal.

Once you've figured out the mistakes you've made you will need to determine if you're wiling to invest the time needed to fix them. If you can't make a 100% commitment to changing your behavior than you might as well end the relationship right now. There's no point in dragging you and your partner through further pain.

Another thing you will need to honestly consider is whether or not your partner will be willing to work on the relationship too. No matter how sincere you are and motivated to make changes, it will take both of you working together to get things back to a good place. You can't do it all alone, and neither can your partner. If you aren't both committed to making it work, it's also time to move on.

Something else you will need to consider is that if you save your relationship it will never totally be 'back the way it used to be'. That doesn't mean it can't still be good, it can. It just means that whatever the two of you have gone through has left some scars, those will always be there.

Keep these things in mind when you are healing relationship wounds. If your relationship is truly worth saving, and your partner is willing to meet you half way and work on it, you can fix the relationship and even make it better than it was before, it'll just take some time...and lot's of love.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

How To Be A Confident Girlfriend Without Being Over Confident

How to be a confident girlfriend is something every woman needs to learn to be. There are very few men out there who like a woman who is lacking in self confidence. They tend to be needy and always need reassuring. This can be quite a turn off when it goes on for any length of time.

Sure we all have days when we feel awful. I am positive that even Carmen Electra wakes up some mornings feeling less than gorgeous but you do not need to tell the world about it. Men love confident women as they know that when they get them into bed, they won't be afraid to ask for what they want. Also confidence is power and some men love powerful women. But don't go overboard as confidence does not mean that you have to be arrogant. Yes there is a fine line but it is one that doesn't need to be crossed.

So how do you build your self esteem? You can do this in a number of ways but the most effective is to practice positive thinking. It is hard to feel low and ugly when you are walking around with a big smile on your face. Make a list of your good points and see how many things you have to feel grateful for. Be genuinely thankful for what you do have as then you may see even more of the positives that are already part of your life.

If you experienced something in your life that has affected your confidence then get some help. Counseling is a wonderful way of working through past demons and learning how to leave the past where it belongs i.e. behind you. You can't change what happened but you can change your reaction to these events and how it affects your future.

Fake it for a while. Pretend you are the most confident woman in the world. Your subconscious can't tell the difference between a lie and the truth so if you fake it for long enough, you will start believing and your self esteem levels will improve.

Ask your man why he is with you but not in a whiny type of way. You can ask him to tell you what he most loves about you? What he thinks your best assets are? Also choose your moment with care, this is not a post sex question.

Ask your friends to write down a list of your nicest characteristics. I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised at how people value you and what qualities they think you have. Practice being assertive and reward yourself for the successes you have achieved in life. If there is something you are really afraid of, why not try it today?

Perhaps you are afraid of heights, so try booking a hang gliding course. Ask your boyfriend to come with you. Maybe do it as a charity fundraiser. Once you face your fears and conquer them, you will no longer have to ask how to be a confident girlfriend. Your inner self confidence will shine like a beacon.